You didn’t say goodbye

I'm sorry

This month marks 5 years since I woke up from my coma and in January you will be gone for 2 years. I've never told anyone but I feel like the cancer is my fault because you told me that you prayed it was you in the hospital instead of me. The doctors told you I might not wake up and if I did I might not talk or walk again. And you told me that you prayed and I laughed at you. Less than a year later you were diagnosed and now your gone. I can't help but think that your prayers were answered in that I woke up and I walked and talked and lived..but you didn't and I never even told you thank you. I'm sorry mom, I miss you.