I’m Late! Oh, Dear! I’m Late! ~The White Rabbit

I'm having a horrible day, my jeans are too tight, my shirt too baggy, my dog too loud, ugh what a horrible day it's becoming!

So when my doorknob grabs the end my shirt and yanks me back I'm afraid I got a bit agitated, but I put that doorknob in his place! How dare he manhandle me like that on such a maddening day as this!

And how dare someone go the speed limit today! I must get to work on time to get a cup of coffee or I'm afraid I may be a bear, and if I'm a bear I'm afraid I will snap at my boss, and you know the rest; if you don't, it ends with me living in a box under a bridge! And I'm not the type to be a bridge troll, mayhaps I can be a dumpster goblin instead (my nose is rather goblin-like if I do say so myself)

Oh, dear. I was in fact late like I feared... Off with my head!