Best of Friends

I looked down at my watch. She's late. I shouldn't be surprised but still am.

I stared up at the chalkboard menu. This is the exact reason I have been making coffee at home; uncomplicated way to get the caffeine in my system as fast as possible. This was the menu for people with the actual time to stand and ponder.

"Boo!" She yelled and grabbed me around the waist. I turned around and for some reason, she is the one who look startled. "Jesus, Nick. We aren't going through the drive thru. Why didn't you get dressed to come meet me here?"

"I did get dressed." I looked down at the stain free leggings and hoodie I had put on. This was a vast improvement from the ones I'd changed out of that had baby powder and spit up all over them. The pure fact I had made it out of the house without waking the baby and with two matching flip flops was an incredibly impressive feat!

"I love you, but.." Here is comes. "You look borderline homeless." She was not impressed.

Estie was always looking to be impressed. She was one of those people who were always expecting others to elevate themselves to her level. She was wearing a brand new, crisp white shirt and jeans with heels. First of all, jeans? It's Saturday morning before 9am. And heels? Give me a freaking break! I just had a human being. I was in no condition to wear heels on two hours of broken sleep.

"Can we please get coffee first before you start in with the criticism?" I flashed a forced fake smile at her. She rolled her eyes and we walked to the counter. The barista and Estie had the same black precisely winged eyeliner. I could have all the time in the world and still not be able to get my eyeliner like that. Couldn't do it before baby, sure as shit can't do it now.

"I'll have a large coffee with cream and sugar, please" I ordered. Estie giggled. "It's so cute how you always say please when ordering. Like, it's her job. She's going to get you coffee anyway". I flashed the same fake forced smile to the barista to tell her that I knew this person next to me looks like we should not be friends, or know each other at all, but your interaction with her with will be brief and hopefully painless. She's been my best friend for god only knows what reason for the longest time. She has her moments for sure.

I didn't even pay attention to the drink she ordered because I knew already it was unnecessarily complicated. What is the point of ordering low fat, sugar free and then ordering two pastries to go?

We sat at a table and I let out of a deep sigh. For the first time in months, I was just going to be able to sit and drink a whole coffee in one sitting, while it was hot. I was savoring this moment to its fullest.

" Oh my gosh Nick, I am so freaking tired, like, you wouldn't believe how tired I am!" Estie continued to tell me how she stayed out so late last night. Dinner turned into drinks, into dancing, into meeting a guy, into pouring herself into bed around 4am. She admitted that she was contemplating asking me to meet me later for lunch instead but had already cancelled on me twice as if I have loads of spare time to be stood up at coffee shops these days.

"I am so tired too," I started.

That blank expression went across her face. "Is this baby related again?"

I sipped my coffee to keep from saying what I really wanted to say. Unfortunately, her coffee did not stop her.

"Honey, what is happening with your hair? When was the last time you had it done? It's like, four different colors right now. It looks like you need deep conditioning too."

"I guess I've just been too busy lately that I haven't had time to go get it done and I had to buy a new car seat because the laws changed and she has to stay rear facing for much longer and the one I had wasn't going to really let her grow into it".

Blank stare.

I'd like to think that it was because I had a baby now and she didn't as to why we were so different but the truth was that we were always very different; the fact I was a mom just amplified those differences.

"Well, just because you are a mom now or whatever, doesn't mean you should stop caring about what you look like. When I'm a mom I will not let myself go, right? You still have to do self-care, you know?"

I had thought this outing, a moment for myself to have coffee with a friend, was self-care.

I don't like to do this but I fake checked my phone. "Oh, it looks like the baby is being really fussy, I should go".

"Ugh! Fine!" She was pretending to protest. "I'm going to go home and take a nap anyway." One last dig before we departed. Totally her style.

I got up to leave and said "thank you" to the barista. Estie giggled again. That is someone's daughter. I would hope someone would be nice to my daughter at her first job one day too.