Define “Better”

"Have you started taking them yet?" She asked with a stern look upon her face.

"Not yet." He replied.

"Why not? Don't you want to get better?" Her words piercing the still Autumn air.

He thought for a moment, as if chewing the last mouthful of a meal, though now devoid of flavour, wanting to savour the last few minutes of rest before returning to work. Then he replied. "Define 'better.' This condition didn't come into effect with the diagnosis, did it? In which case, how long has it been going on? How much of me is a reaction to and a result of this condition? If I take it now, won't I stop being me?"

Her eyes lit with shock momentarily, then doubled back into the lucid glaze of misplaced concern. "Well, it could help, if you don't take it you'll never find out."

"And if I do find out, then it'll be too late." He shot back.

His hands twisted in the grass behind him. He knew she was right, but a part of him worried that he was too. They were legitimate fears he told himself. But were they really? If his mind is truly in turmoil, is he in a position to objectively appraise the extent of the chaos? Then again, it was his decision to go. He knew the outcome, and he'd expected it to be the case for a while. Nevertheless, things seem so much scarier when they have a name.

...

"Thanks for the talk last week, it really helped. I've started taking them now." He said sheepishly.

"That's great news!" She beamed. "Are you feeling better?"

"Define 'better'".