“Water is Wet,” an Essay
The age-old question: “is water wet?” I have more or less observed that the conservative answer to this question is, “yes, water is most certainly wet.” The modernist view, on the other hand, appears to be, “no, water itself is not wet.” Well, though I am progressive in many things, I will admit, I am conservative in my clothing styles, verbiage, and, of course, my response to this dilemma. Hear this: while there is never a definite answer to anything, according to Pliny the Elder, I have taken my position with the “water is wet” side of the ring.
Of all the arguments and essays I have ever read claiming that water is not wet, I have never once seen them use scientific evidence, only reasoning (I am not affirming that there is no argument against water being wet that uses scientific evidence out there, but I have not seen one. If you now of one, please let me know in the comments, as I am very much interested in this debate). Still, however, the reasoning with which the argument against the wetness of water is made is, in most cases, strikingly well done. I will be using science to advance my argument, but first, I shall fight fire with fire, by using reasoning.
The papers that advance the notion of water not being wet claim that water makes other things wet, yes, but it itself is not wet. Water sticks to things, they say, but water itself is merely a collection of the liquid, and therefore, it is not itself wet. These essays, however, are written as if water is the only thing that can make things wet! Any liquid can make things wet, because every single substance known to humankind has a liquid form, from methane, to oxygen, to even a diamond.
Let me ask you this: is alum dry? It dries things, of course - It dries things very well. The proponents of the notion that water is not wet would likely claim that alum, thus, is not dry. But feel it: it’s a powder, a dry powder. Even if there were no water for it to absorb, it itself is dry. Is fire warm? A proponent that water is not wet would probably say: no, fire is not warm, it only makes things warm. My friends, fire is indeed warm. Is ice cold? Yes, it is. Water, my companions, is most probably wet.
Now, with the analogies completed, it is time to fight fire with water - the scientific approach. First off, allow me to begin with something that both myself and my opposing “water-is-not-wet” proponents will agree upon: water makes things wet. But how does water do this? It is quite simple, actually. Water is a covalent bond, meaning that electrons are shared. Two hydrogen atoms share electrons with an oxygen atom. However, the more elections a compound has, the more negative it is, and the fewer electrons, the more positive it is. All substances strive to react to form neutral charges. Hydrogen, in a water molecule, has fewer of the shared electrons, meaning that it has a partial-positive charge. Oxygen, on the other hand, has more of the shared electrons, meaning that it has a partial-negative charge.
The water molecule, thus, needs to become stable. The hydrogen atoms need to gain an electron from another substance, and the oxygen atom needs to lose an electron to another substance. Thus, water is polar, and so it is adhesive. The positive hydrogen atom of one water molecule binds covalently with the negative oxygen atom of another, neutralizing itself. Water sticks to itself, the same reasoning for which those who claim that water is not wet explain how water makes things wet.
Water is, according to simple science, adhesive to itself, and therefore, just as it is cohesive in that it can stick to other polar molecules (such as alcohol) and, interestingly, ionic substances (such as salt), water is wet. Water makes itself wet. Water, my friends, is undeniably wet.
Now, if we had merely one water molecule, with nothing else for it to bind to, would that be wet? Yes, because the fact that water can make other things wet should serve to prove that it has the ability to stick to itself, and therefore is wet.
Now, to eliminate any hard feelings against me from the proponents of the odd notion that water is not wet, we can agree, for sure, that it is certainly not dry, I hope.