Late night whispers
the tip toeing in the dark to my usual seating,
the intensity of my young and broken heart beating.
the tears that were shed but never were shared,
the broken promises that were once beared.
alone i stood as i sat on that stair,
my siblings asleep without a care.
too young to understand but too old to ignore,
to think this mess started at the young age of four.
to speak up or to not make a sound,
knowing a broken family was soon to be bound.
it was the whispers in the night that changed my life,
the hero himself was losing his wife.
i stood helpless and continued to hope for the best,
knowing that this was just one of God’s tests.
but the thought of change made my heart go cold,
wishing time would freeze and i wouldnt grow old.
i sat and listened to their number of debts,
i sat and listened to their list of regrets.
looking over at my sister fast asleep in her bed,
with all of their words ringing in my head.
the constant conversations on repeat every night,
never could they find a way to make it right.
i thought to go down there to see what i could do,
at that moment feeling i had nothing to lose.
but I sat there quietly and endured the pain,
yet the thought of them apart nearly drove me insane.
and the constant confusion made me begin to lose sight,
of the happy days and the peaceful nights.
I tried to ignore it ignore what they said,
I thought to stop listening and just go to bed.
and those four words she said that made me feel sick,
my heart began to beat with an outrageous tick.
I jumped ran and threw the covers tight over my head,
Wishing I never heard what she had said.
I remember asking Him why he was doing this to me,
and begging and crying for Him to let me be.
It was hard to look up when things were going down,
It was hard to make a smile from what was a frown.
Shut my eyes tight and blocked the world out,
My mind filled with nothing but a million doubts.
I remember dazing at the ceiling with a blank stare,
Not knowing that the end was nowhere near.