Bark Beetles

Bark beetles are tiny insects with hard, cylindrical bodies that reproduce under the bark of trees. -US Forest Service

“Right this way,” the woman said. She wore a white lab coat over colorful scrubs.

It was all so unfamiliar.

Hygienist? Technician? Assistant? I didn’t know what to call her.

“In here,” the woman said, gesturing toward a small room with a reclined dental chair. “My name’s Holly, by the way.”

“Should I just have a seat?” I said, unsure if the basic rules still applied.

“Yes,” she said with a smile. “Have a seat, and Dr. Chambers will be in shortly.”

“Okay,” I said, passing through the doorway and sliding into the chair.

Holly reclined the chair further, and I couldn’t stop myself from gripping the armrests. I felt like an astronaut ready for launch but twice as nervous.

“I’ll be back soon to administer the anesthesia,” Holly said. She looked down at my white knuckles fastened to the armrests of the chair. “There’s nothing to worry about. You’ll be out like a light when it happens.”

I nodded and released the armrests. “I’m fine,” I said. “It’s just jitters.”

“It happens to everyone,” Holly said. “Just remember to breathe. You won’t even know what happened.”

She smiled again and left the room.

Nobody is ever ready to have their wisdom teeth removed. You build up years of familiarity with your dentist and their office only to be shuttled off to a different dentist and a different office for surgery. Everything is new. Everything is scary.

“Well, look who we have here,” Dr. Chambers said, stepping into the room. “Let’s have a look at those teeth.”

I didn’t say a word. I just opened my mouth.

“My records show that you were referred to this office by Dr. Warner,” Dr. Chambers said, flipping on the overhead light and angling it into my mouth.

“Yes,” I mumbled, still holding my mouth open.

“A little old, aren’t you,” Dr. Chambers said, grabbing my chin and stretching my mouth open further. “Does he still call you kiddo?”

I couldn’t answer with my jaw in his grip, but it was true. All of it. I wasn’t exactly a kiddo, but that’s what Dr. Warner called everyone, because all but one of his patients were kids. He was a children’s dentist, and I had already aged out of children’s dentistry. But he was familiar, he was friendly, and he was a saint for letting me continue to see him, even into my twenties.

“You might want to consider a new dentist,” Dr. Chambers said, inserting a stainless-steel probe into my mouth.

I could feel him poking at my wisdom teeth with its tip. I could have sworn I felt them tremble within my jaw.

He removed the probe. “Adult teeth are very different from children’s teeth,” Dr. Chambers said. “Very different needs. But you won’t need to worry about these wisdom teeth anymore. Best to get them removed when you’re young. They only get more stubborn with time. Honestly, if you wait too long, they’ll simply refuse to leave.”

“I’ve heard that,” I said, wiping a drip of saliva that was spilling down over my chin. “It’s weird how they just come out of nowhere and cause nothing but problems.”

“It’s just part of development,” Dr. Chambers said. “They grow, they mature, and they run out of room. It’s in everybody’s interest to have them extracted before they take over. Got to leave the nest at some point.”

“That’s one way to put it,” I said, feeling myself grip the armrests again.

“Well, I think we’re ready to get started. I’ll call Holly in here, and she can administer the sedation anesthesia.”

Dr. Chambers left, and Holly came back in alone. She was wheeling an IV drip that traced down to a needle in her hand.

Holly pulled a long rubber band from the pocket of her white lab coat. “I’ll need your right arm, please,” she said.

I released the armrest and turned my forearm palm-up, exposing the veins along the inside of my right elbow.

“Don’t worry,” Holly said, rubbing her thumb across the skin of my inner forearm. “This shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m just going to tie this band around your arm so we can find a good vein.”

I tried my best to keep myself from shaking as she tied the band around my arm. I knew what was coming next.

Holly ripped open an alcohol swab and cleaned the inside of my forearm. “I’m going to insert the IV now,” she said.

I nodded, feeling my arm tense.

Holly pulled the plastic cap from the needle, slid the point into my arm, and spoke softly. “Count back from ten,” she said.

I was already feeling hazy.

“Ten… nine… eight…” I said.

The next number wouldn’t come. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I couldn’t move my tongue. Everything was going dark.

With my eyes closed and my senses dulled, I could have sworn I heard Dr. Chambers speak. “Call the movers,” I’m sure he said.

I opened my eyes.

“You’re awake,” Dr. Chambers said. “Good.”

I recognized his voice, but my vision was blurry. I wanted to ask whether the procedure was over, but my lips wouldn’t move. I blinked my eyes, and the room came into focus.

Where am I? I thought.

I tried to move my body, but I couldn’t. I was numb all over. Only my eyes were free.

The ceiling was different. The walls were different. It wasn’t Dr. Chambers’s office. It looked more like a laboratory. It had black countertops, industrial-size refrigerators, and an assortment of boxy equipment that I simply didn’t recognize. What I noticed most of all was the heat. It felt like an oven.

Dr. Chambers sat on a stool at my side as I reclined in a familiar-shaped dental chair. Between us was a rolling stainless-steel table with a tiny plastic tray on it. It looked like a miniature egg carton with four compartments. Instead of eggs, it held teeth. Four teeth.

“No, we’re not in my office, if that's what you're thinking,” Dr. Chambers said, looking around the space. “The temperature there is all wrong for incubation. Don’t worry. We’re just a few miles down the road. You were transported with the utmost care, so as to not disturb the young.”

I tried to scream, but no sound left my throat.

“You should be proud,” Dr. Chambers said. “Look what you’ve created; what I pulled out of you.” He picked up the plastic tray of teeth and held it up to my face. “You did this. New life.” He set the tray back down.

I didn’t understand.

“Dr. Warner and I have had a good relationship over the years. Our kind are seldom known for collaboration, but it works for us. He plants the seeds when you’re young, and I extract them after they've grown.”

I was starting to sweat. Part of it was the heat in the room. Most of it was nerves.

“Have you ever heard of bark beetles?” Dr. Chambers said.

I hadn’t, but I blinked furiously anyway. It was all I could do.

Dr. Chambers smiled. “You probably wouldn’t want to know anyway. Suffice it to say that you are the bark, and these are the beetles. Not literally, of course. These are no beetles. But they needed extraction all the same. It’s always a little too messy to leave them in, especially when they’re ready to hatch.”

The tiny plastic tray began to shake, and the seemingly hard enamel on the teeth began to flake away.

“They sound hungry,” Dr. Chambers said. “But… they’re always hungry.”

I felt my chair recline, and my eyes drifted up toward the ceiling.

I could barely see it when Dr. Chambers placed the plastic tray on my chest. It was rattling.

“It’s not so bad,” Dr. Chambers said. “When they enter the brain, you’ll barely feel it. They’re quick to sever the appropriate nerves. After that, it’s pure bliss. That is, if they like you.”

Dr. Chambers stood up and dug his fingers into the flesh beneath his own jaw.

“Children are so important,” he said, starting to peel a rubbery mask of skin from his face. “You always have to put them first. And if they refuse to finish their dinner, then it’s my job to take care of the leftovers.”