Beach Day

We spent the day at the beach, my mom, my three brothers, and I.

It was fun, nothing out of the ordinary. When we got ready to go, we used the outdoor showers to try and get the sand out of our asscracks. If you didn't do a good job, you'd have a terrible rash by the time you got home. Then we changed into dry clothes and hit the road.

My mom had barely made it onto the bridge, no more than six minutes from the beach, when my youngest brother started whining that he had to pee.

“That’s too bad,” my mom said flatly. “We were just at the restroom, now we’re on the bridge. You’re just gonna have to hold it.”

“I can’t hold it,” he cried.

“Then you’re going to have to piss in a bottle.”

The four of us all raised our eyebrows at the same time, surely she was kidding.

“Here.” She rolled down the window and emptied the Coca-Cola two-liter before passing it back to him. Reluctantly, my little brother took it and the rest of us just resigned to look out the window.

I glanced over to make sure he wasn’t peeing all over the seat and it seemed to be going smoother than expected, until someone on the bridge cut my mom off and she had to swerve.

Suddenly, I was watching my little brother piss full on in my oldest brother’s face.

I may never laugh that hard at anything, ever again.