Stop Thinking

You think I told you because I want to “get better”. Because I want to stop. Well, I’m here to to inform you, you’re wrong. I told you because it’s the “responsible” thing to do. Because It was the “smart” thing to do. I bet you thought I was “too put together” to ever be this much of a mess; to have a particular interest in pencil sharpeners.

I’m tired of trying to be anything good. I’m tired of the uptight qualities I have that you call “mature”. I wish to rid myself of anything that may seem redeemable. I want everyone to see me and think “witch” or “bitch”, because we both know I am both. I want the status quo to bow before me during it’s execution. I want to destroy. I want to burn it all down. I want to run away and define. I want to suffer and struggle and other day I wan’t to not exist. 

But just like  everything else I’ll get through it because I’m “mature”, “responsible”, and “smart”, right? Or do I need to “get better”? Tell me an I a revolutionary or just depressed?