Sans Corn

After all the family had cleared out and the plethora of dishes had been washed up, there was the exact right amount of leftovers for a turkey bowl. That perfect compliation of meat, potatoes, vegetables and gravy. It's a bowl full of delicious remnants from the great feast. The flavors complimenting each other so well as they take up all the space in your cheeks.

I lovingly tucked the containers away in the fridge and went to bed dreaming of the best next day dish.

The construction and consumption was all I had hoped it would be. I smiled between bites, senses all a glow. I was giving myself a silent pat on the bat for the ratio of ingredients. I was actually sad when the last bite was devoured, realizing it would be another year before this opportunity presented itself again.

I was still wallowing a few hours until I was overcome with chills and an aggressively rumbling stomach. I was running to the toilet before I could even question the reason why I needed to be so swift in my departure from the couch. My entire body heaved violently and repeatedly for hours. Even my hair hurt as I pulled it back out of my face. Every morsel and then some of the coveted leftover bowl was flushed away; presented to me again but with absolutely no appeal.

Inbetween the moments of wishing death was just after the next round of upchuck, I pondered the reason for this unfortunate turn of events. I had every single one of these foods not even 24 hours ago.

Then, I realized I had not had corn and opened a new can as the ideal addition to my masterpiece this afternoon.

Turns out, and what a time to learn new information, dented cans can let in air that creates toxic bateria knows as Clostridium botulinum. All I had wanted was one heavenly Thanksgiving leftover bowl and ended up getting botilism. I had been so thankful for the supersized meal that afforded me the opportunity for leftovers but now, I was only thankful for a bathroom door that locked and activated charcoal.

All this should have been enough to prevent me from ever even thinking about attempting this cuisine in the future but it is just so divine that the soul craves it. From now, just to be safe, I'll go sans corn.