Ready or Not, Here I Come!

Santa fired me last Christmas! Can you believe the nerve of that jolly old

goat??

Sooo I liked to drink a little eggnog on the job... so what? I only forgot a couple parts on that bicycle I assembled that one time!

And is Comet not the more fitting reindeer to light up the night sky and guide that old coot’s sleigh?

I may have made Rudolph cry for old times’ sake and strapped some lights to Comet’s butt, but they were BRIGHT LIGHTS. Far brighter than that honker of Rudolph’s that Santa has been trying to spin in a positive light (no pun intended) for so many years.

Listen, the fat man is no spring chicken and if his goal truly is to have help guiding his sleigh, that spotlight on Comet’a butt saved the DAY. I should have been applauded, not canned!

But I am not bitter. Ok, maybe I am a little bitter. Maybe I have devised a plan to make Christmas 2020 the worst nightmare ever for my old boss.

I have been watching all the gainfully employed elves through the workshop window for several hours now. Soon, they will start dropping like flies from exhaustion and I will be able to rifle through that fat sack of neatly assembled toys and play a little game of hide and seek with Mr. St. Nicky-nick.

Ready or not, boys, here I come!