Martin vs Santa
Martin the elf
Was stuck on a shelf
Condemned for the rest of his days.
Moved every night,
He pondered his plight,
His anger a burning red haze.
The big man at the pole
Had found what he stole
And fixed him one night with a gaze.
“The good girls and boys
Deserve all these toys,
You’ll be punished for your thieving ways.
A life you must spend
Sitting on your rear end
Being moved in the human’s new craze.
By next Christmas Eve
I trust you’ll perceive
The old saying that crime never pays.”
But Martin found out
His union had clout,
He’d exercise all of his rights.
Mr Claus would soon find
His production line grind
To a halt on December nights.
The elves would down tools
They were nobody’s fools,
They gathered beneath Northern Lights.
“Free the elves
Stuck on shelves!”
They shouted out their civil rights.
Santa was tough
He’d had quite enough
Of these short men in ridiculous tights.
Above the raised voices
He considered his choices
Where to get more bikes, trucks, and kites.
He picked up his cell
And thought ’What the hell,
I'll do what everyone does at this time of year.’
He’d heard on the grapevine
Most people ordered online,
He could retire the sleigh and reindeer.
‘Delivery Included!’
Meant he could get started
And kick his retirement plans into high gear.
Martin the elf
Remained stuck on the shelf
He might’ve even shed a small tear.
His plan went awry
And he said with a sigh
“It looks like this is my new career,
To bring laughter and joy
To each girl and boy,
And hopefully some Christmas cheer.”
Be kind to your elf
High up on your shelf.
Wish him Merry Christmas and happy new year!