My expression is not for you
I say something, and the look of confusion you give me is an ice cube falling down my back, I recoil reavaluate and find a synonym that you will understand.
And the more we talk, the more I simplifiy summarize and my vocal vocabulary steadily decreases, my sentances shorten sounds are used to imply interest
You leave and I am left in a mess of half-baked hap-hazard phrases, I have spent so long translating my expressions that their expression is lost to me
Through simplification my thoughts have been simplified at their source
I am left wanting wandering over ghosts of words I used to know, now only echoes strange sounds with meanings both present yet disconnected
My mind a dictionary, with definitions but no words, only letters, syllables, and impressions remain.
I am left floundering frantically finding what used to be self-evident to me
Relearning relishing in the wonder of words
Reminding reaffirming the value of my knowledge regardless of your understanding.
I do not have to change so that you can understand me
I do not have to simpify myself
I do not have be anything other than what I am.
-My expression is not for you-