apparently, i have a thing for letters. who knew?

To: Wisp

From: Me

I feel like you've rubbed my soul raw, grinded my bones, and used my own words to discover my origins; simply, you took a poetic journey of understanding me. And I know that wasn't really your intial intentions, but darling, you dusted off my roots and reminded me why I'm where I am today.

I remember, about a year ago, I finally commented on one of Anha's pieces saying, "I'm going to read all your work until I drown/loose myself" or something along those lines. (Honestly, I'm very scatterbrained so it's hard to me remember specifics.) And I did, it took some weeks but I went through roughly 200 pieces (maybe?), and either left a comment or review or both on every single one. I don't regret, 'cause it took me on my own path of reflection as well, and by praising Anha and anazlyzing her work, I sort of found myself. Realized what I liked, what I didn't, and different poetic structures as well as diction. Even today, looking back, I'm glad I did that. Anha had/has a gift, and I hope she remains well. :)

So Wisp, when you left me a comment saying you were going to read all my work, I was stunned. I knew you were oblivious to me doing the same thing with Anha (since it was before your time), I just thought it was one of those things someone said but didn't really act on. But damn, did you. I will say, I took over 150+ of my pieces down before you started, but you still had to go through the remaing 140ish. But nevertheless, you scrolled to the bottom and worked your way up. Every single piece you not only liked, but commented on. (And as someone who commented long, indepth paragraphs, I know how much thought and time it takes). I never had anyone blow up my notifications the way you did.

And damn, did I love it. Wisp, darling, you did something no one else has ever done: you reminded me why I write. And there is no real way for me to properly thank you for that. At the beginning of 2019 I was in a dark place, I had recently moved, I'd been rejected on things, and my poetry/short stories sucked. For the longest time, I couldn't get out of the funk. Then I communicated with a fellow writer friend (who has since left WTW and never joined Prose, but is on Wattpad) and he helped me through it. We didn't really have a writing connection, but a friend connection. I became better, but something always lingered. So when 2020 came, whatever lingered had finally manifested but only displayed itself in my poetry (that's when I moved away from short stories and to poetry). And I thought then I reached my peak, I still do believe my writer's golden age was then. But it has hence since ended. My point is, now, I'm not in a dark place I just questioned if I should keep writing. I do love writing, I always will, I just couldn't find the time or audience. Then came you. You became the audience--the critique, the big fan, the excited yet unknowing kid, the knowing parent, the supportive sister, the unstanding friend--darling, you were it all. And it wasn't until you became so did I realize how much I needed it. The endless praises warmed my heart and the analytic + critic remarks kept me in check & improving, you helped me reflect better than any other peer review I've gotten-through you comments alone.

Your committed support reminded me I wrote not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Writing my realities made me realize I wasn't alone and told people they weren't either. I didn't thrive in the fictional world novels created because it's not my strong suit. My strong suit was writing about humanity. So you're "I can relate"s and "you're not alone"s made me realize that, your repititon was the only type of repititon I ever truly appreciated.

There's this spanish proverb, I want to share with you: A falta de pan, buenas son tortas. It doesn't translate very well to english, but it's something like this: If we don't have bread, cakes will do. And it's suppose to be like be grateful and make do with what you have, and darling, you made do with my pieces. You didn't just take the latest ones or even my golden age ones, you went back to my origins and took the cake. You even made me realize to appreciate the cake. And I know I'm probably starting to soud crazy (it's kinda late here lol and I worked most of today), but in short, thank you.

Even now, I think I'm done submitting to literary mags for a long while and taking periodic breaks from writing. But I'm not giving up on it, I've learned to appreicate it. And I owe a good part of that to you. Thank you.

Wishing you all the best & the sending you all the kindness I can, since I cherish all of yours you've given me.

P.S

this was far too over due (throwback to all those comments i've been dropping for months now saying i'd give you your proper thank you)

P.P.S

No crying! ;)