i met god and he stripped me naked
vile fragrance of dying lilacs
infesting slowly-
wafting through cold white air
stings my throat. coughs
come out, sliced at thin angles
jarring vocal cords.
i breathe.
it brushes past my warm cheek,
His hand: i shudder.
something tingles down my spine the poets
call it love but we
say it like it is: dread.
His mouth smells of rotting grapes-
of old spirits that mother says not to touch
ever. He opens his eyes- bloodshot bloodshot
spits out greed no-
lust. red lust that clings to you
like cellophane.
He scratches His grizzly beard.
dizzy hands touch me: His hands-
wrinkled, old, with fear trapped
in the creases of His skin but he calls it
trust.
they move down: slowly, swiftly.
i dig my nails inside my palms
bite my tongue and blood spurts out
like the fountains at the mall-
sicksweet sicksweet blood i let it
stay let it flow around
my mouth let it stain my teeth let it
stain my soul.
He watches me
naked in my utter shame-
He smiles He steps closer
closer to me.
His lips neatly sliced into a macabre grin-
He spits in my face.
thick thick saliva-
tastes like rusty metal i
wipe it and He
laughs.
He digs His claws
in the back of my rib it
hurts and black black blood drips
on the stark white floor-
is this what we call art?
and if we do-
no deep breath deep breaths
i feel the life evaporating out of my lungs
i feel my veins surrendering my
eyes blurring and-
is this what they call beauty?
i pass out.
i move around-
float around the darkness.
i let it engulf me
i let it tear me apart.
and i think i’m alone but-
i open my eyes.
i feel the floor beneath my head
am i dead? no this isn’t eden.
or is it?
i feel Him moving
inside me i feel Him
grunt.
somewhere, i hear pens scribbling.
somewhere, an infant dies.
somewhere, i hear music.
mozart presses against my burning flesh
and flows in my veins.
i sense a crescendo
(and the life slowly seeping out)
and with every note it
becomes harder to breathe harder
to hold on.
it grows it grows it grows and
i smile i see mozart i see him close his eyes
and here-
here i witness me dying here
a requiem.