I KNEW I COULD

The first book I remember was “The Little Engine That Could”, and thanks to Watty Piper, aka Arnold Munk, “I think I can” is a mantra that has served me well in life.

Books have been my guides, my friends, and my escape hatch. They have lifted me up, made me laugh and cry, or taken me on a journey I could never have imagined ( Aldous Huxley and “A Brave New World”). A good story opens my mind and I am always a bit sad to read that last page. On the other hand books like “In The Spirit of Crazy Horse” showed me a history I had never learned in school. It made meangry. It was, at times, painful to read, but I still couldn’t put it down. It motivated me to become an activist.

Looking back, stories have been signposts of where I was, where I wanted to be, and where I was going. Like a favorite song, I can remember where I was, physically or emotionally, when I read them. I read “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle while traveling in Greece with my best friend. “The Art of Happiness” by The Dalai Lama was given to me at a time when I felt empty and adrift with no real faith or spiritual practice to hold on to. I felt Milan Kundera was speaking to me personally in “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” and, although I had not lived a life like any of the three main characters, I had been in love, and known loss. I knew heartache and longing. Was there such a thing as a soul mate? Can you be in love with more than one person at a time?

I also love picking up a book that goes against “the rules” like Kerouac’s “On The Road.” Basically a stream of consciousness with a lot of alcohol, it reminded me of my Bohemian days when I was living as an artist and could pick up and go (and drink like a fish BTW).

I read “Out of Africa” and “West to The Night” back to back, and dreamt of being an adventurous woman. Years later I found myself, in Africa, on an ultra light, flying over the Luwangwa Valley in Zambia, feeling the euphoria that Karen Blixen or Beryl Markham must have felt.

Did my reading of these books shape my life in some way? Perhaps not concsiously, but I feel each one showed me that anything is possible. When you are writing, anything is possible. But it’s also true in life. We just forget.

And now, at the age of 60 I have a new favorite. “Lincoln in the Bardo”. I was so moved by Lincoln and the true accounts of those close to him, and I loved the humor; the spirits whose most noticable characteristics in the afterlife were what had weighed them down in life. It’s a beautiful story reminding me that life is precious. Don’t get weighed down.