Parchment memories\\
Looking at those amber trees
I sense the fragrance of a past
forgotten parchment memory.
Its aroma drools me over
and entagles me about my being
and I'm bamboozled with this thought
whether it's hugging me or strangling me.
I feel loved but I couldn't feel unseized.
Am I free or am I not?
Is it love or is it not?
The dead petals lie on my ground,
unsalted and deserted
And I feel like crying to leave them a loner
for years of my dusty past
when they needed me to...
Oh! Have I realised it now?
What would they need me for?
"May be to caress them and kiss them
Like how the humans do
To the graves of dead."
Said the branches shading me.
In this garden of amber
where I smell lilies and lavenders
and roses and sunflowers
and sense the shadow of outgrown banyan
and eat from its harboured luxury,
feeling like Alice in wonderland
I keep wondering,
Am I free or am I not?
Is it love or is it not?
"What else do I need to satisfy you with?
You are loved when you are favoured,
You are loved when you regret
For the wrongs of your past,
You are loved when you feel like home
around me".
Said the branches shading me.
If only I didn't make them
my parchment memories,
I wouldn't have questioned
Your love over my guilt swollen worth.
If only I decided to let it sleep
On its natural matress
than my deserted island
I wouldn't have asked
'Is it love or is it not? '
But today
I feel guilt free because
I have mourned my heart
for my dead petals and I will lay
them beneath on the matress of its fate;
One day again when the the bronze of the soil whistles about its fertility
I would know they are happy,
The petals are happy and so am I.