rage

i know that it's all i've been posting about ever since i got back online, but i never thought it would be this hard. loving someone with that special love, the one you see in movies, between a lovely old couple.

i'm still young and everyone says i have plenty of time, and i believe them. i just don't like being alone in that sense. i focus on school a lot, and so does he. we aren't dating (cause our immigrant parents would decapitate us if they found out), but we are closer than friends.

it's nice when it's nice, and it's lonely when he wants to be alone. as an extrovert, my social battery rarely runs out, and his always does. sometimes it's his depression, and sometimes, he just wants to be alone. i don't experience either of those things, so it's really frustrating when i have to busy myself with other things instead of talk to him.

wack.