Selfish Love

Magic happens with you babe.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s being wrapped up in your arms, living out our passions. Or when you became my first kiss, and then my second, and third.. well now I’ve lost count to be honest. Maybe it’s just simply being happy listening to you sing as you play your guitar for me. Maybe it’s because I feel more comfortable with you than I have with anyone else. Or maybe it’s that feeling of calm when we’re laying together, my head on your chest.

But when I’m with you, nothing else seems to matter, tomorrow doesn’t exist, and whatever we want we can have.

But then, morning comes, and we wake up in our separate lives, and it feels like we’re worlds apart.

This could never actually work. You and me. We are just two completely different paths, while broken in similar ways, we were never actually supposed to cross over each other. But somehow we did.

And for that brief moment, it was perfect. We were happy. And in that moment, we both considered maybe this is possible.

But I got scared. And so I stepped back. That night, my heart cried out so loud; it felt like I had crushed my soul. Because that’s what losing you felt like. And I know it hurt you just as much. I could see it in your eyes, and in the way you tried to convince me that we could overcome anything, if I would just give it one more chance.

You told me that night, for the first time, that you loved me.

And while I didn’t say it then, I can see now that I loved you too.

And if I’m being honest, I still do.

And while we’re being honest, no matter how much love can overcome, we both realized that we could not be.

Our needs for a future didn’t match up, and in the end, could be destructive if not dealt with now. And as much as it hurt to let you go, I can’t keep you knowing that I can’t give you everything you need in life. That would just be selfish of me.

Someone once said, “sometimes, when you love something, the best thing you can do is just let it go.”

And that’s what I’m doing. I’m letting you go, so that you can find someone else, someone who can give you what I can’t. And because I care about you and love you, I want you to have all the love and happiness in life that you deserve. Which is more than I can give.

And while we both enjoy those nights together, those magical nights. They’re just a facade of something that can’t be. And while we’ll always have apart of each other’s heart, we have to let each other go.

Anything less would just be selfish love.