The text, page 143, provided a bio-chemical explanation that reduced

the way my stomach felt like knots whenever I saw him

to a streamline of synapses crackling across neural pathways in my brain.

I cracked one of my antidepressants in half; powder spilled all over my desk

and I applied enough pressure to the MAOIs to create a diamond.

I saw a radiologist and I demanded he provide me an MRI; he promised me that nothing was wrong.

No! I proclaimed. You have no real schooling then! Call in the neurologist!

When I was seven, I threw up on a rollercoaster because of an excess release of adrenaline and norepinephrine that made me feel lightheaded and I ate a cone full of funnel cake just before.

Presently, it feels like my ribs are going to crack and my heart is pounding against my sternum

and my liver is gonna slip right under the thick muscle in my abdomen.

And just when it felt like I was going into cardiac arrest -- I looked at him.

I suddenly felt stupid for knowing the first two-hundred digits of pi.

I felt like a fool for keeping my heart plugged into an electrical socket,

because I tripped over the wire when I saw him and my heart rate is still over 100 beats per minute.

The Pingtang telescope has a rose lense.

Stars don’t seem like suns blowing up and igniting budding solar systems into oblivion.

They look like constellations.

And nothing is simply zeroes and ones.

01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111

01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001

01101111 01110101 00101110