haze

I never remember telling a soul of my troubles

but the tattered unseen notebook bearing a knowing smile

can tell you what I have always hoped to conceal

Age: 14

Year: 2019

"Day 327: Anger"

" I remembered his face and the undying trust I felt for him. The way he held me for minutes on end, making me feel closer and closer to a monster with every passing second. I didn't know. I didn't know he was just that, a monster, or that his love wasn't for me. I remembered how I felt for him as I sat and cried, the warmth of an embrace replaced by the warmth of the tears. I felt all of it. Anger for trusting a person as sick as him. I wondered if he knew what he had done to me. If he cared. Did he know that I loved him? Of course. That was his fuel. He knew what I wanted and made sure my wishes were almost fufilled. He could always keep me jealous and on edge. He will always know. He will always know what he's done, and he'll always know what I did. "