Three Short Twisted Classic Fairy Tales

Sleeping Beauty, though not so much a beauty was poisoned to sleep forever. Surounded by the mighty seven midgets, Snorable, Duncey, Bashedabout,Hapless, Sneezer, Grumpedout and Dockworker, she lies in a serene setting as the seven mourn for her. Suddenly, a Prince gallops up to save the woman he was told would make his head spin. Walking over to her, he starts to bend over for a better look when he jumped back, turned, jumped onto his horse and road away as if the hounds of hellwer at his feet. Hapless said, “That’s the fifth prince this week that’s run away from her. Maybe it’s time we invested in a plastic surgeon.”

Another hero comes to rescue Rapunzel from the castle she is held prisoner in. “Rapunzel, let down thy hair so that I may climb up to you and resuce thee from this dark place.” Rapunzel sighs a sigh she knows all too well and drops her long pigtails out the open window, and just like the last ten times, when they reached him, they cracked open his skull and he died. Like the others, he was taken away and buried in a place she knew not where.

“Sorry,” said Beauty, but I don’t like kissing someone with all that hair all over your face.” “I was afraid you would say that,” said The Beast. “A pity, for I would rather have loved you than have to eat you.” Beauty screamed and screamed as The Beast chewed away at her flesh until she was no more.

The End