Little Miss Muffet
Little miss muffet sprawled on a bean bag,
Gorging on Cheetos and Little Debbie Moonpies
Along came an endangered spider, nested beside her
And miss Muffet sprayed the arachnid into extinction with insecticide.
“Und now you zee, by zubstituting a new Jungian Archetype, vee can eliminate Arachnophobia completely in eine generation, jah? Vee vill now observe our test zubject in a little demonstration, nine? Vee haff little fraulein Muffet comfortably placed on zee bean chair. An abundant supply of snacks provided around her befitting her height/weight proportions zo. Next to zee bean chair vee haff provided a triple strength spritz can of zee Raid DDT extreme, new und improved, jah? Und now vee vill introduce zee arachnid from zee ceiling above her. Zis experimental simulation iz completely contrived in an authentic und accurate recreation of a typical American home, jah?
“Zo now vee notice zee little fraulein spotting zee insect, und reaching for zee Raid. She vill now eradicate zee creature mach-schnell. Und... Holy CRAP! Vhat ist dis? Und dumkopf child! She has spritzed herself with zee can and has fallen out of zee bean chair und-conscious, und zee spider has crawled away. Dunderheaded Americans.”