for my better half.

words are meaningless;

according to the entire human race,

it’s all about action

doing instead of saying

showing instead of telling

but you know me,

words are my forte

me speaking is me taking action

actions can be rejected, halted, hurtful

but words?

words are forever baby,

words are honest

(and you know how i love honesty)

but even so,

words are meaningless.

words are meaningless because there are over 170,000 words in the English language and not a single one of them comes close to describing the way I feel about you

across every known language

not a single word,

phrase or sentence...

there are not words to describe how completely yours i am

the future is an open landscape,

a blank slate on which i plan to write the story of us

the past is a war zone.

pieces of my heart lost in battles i know i never signed up to fight in,

my innocence given so freely to the one person in my life who deserved it the least

but the present?

the present is a myriad of emotions.

what’s left of my heart beating erratically in my chest whenever you so much as breathe

the present is

this feeling of smiling all the fucking time because you…love me

i am yours.

for as long as you’ll have me,

for always,

for forever

you’ve gotten under so much more than my skin baby

you are slowly tearing down the Fort Knox-level security walls i’ve had around my heart since i was ten…

walls i’ve been fortifying since before i knew that the word fortify even meant

you make me feel

strong,

happy,

loved.

and i don’t…

stars above woman, i don’t know how to exist in this state of…happiness

i’m not used to smiling at my phone,

or anxiously awaiting a text back,

or planning my entire future around someone i hope will be the one who stays

(hope is such a dangerous thing…

but i hope with all my fucking heart)

i’ve tossed the phrase “i’m in love” around my entire life

i’ve been falling, tripping, and face-planting into it for eighteen years

(or so i thought…)

every piece of every part of who i am

is completely and utterly in love with every piece of every part of who you are

(long story short:

i’ve had dreams about our wedding,

i apparently already have my vows written)