somebody i don’t want to be anymore.

if i could rid the world of all mirrors and reflective surfaces,

i would.

i don’t want to look at myself

i hate looking at myself

i hate who i am. 

my reflection points out all the things

i hate about myself

even the things

that aren’t visible to the human eye.

i’m trying

to love 

what i see

but why is it so damn hard?

a girl.

a failure.

a freak.

my reflection shows all of that. 

i’m tired.

i’m tired of smiling at myself

trying to pretend i’m ok.

i’m so tired.

i’m tired of crying in front of the mirror

wishing i was better,

wishing i were someone else,

but there’s nothing i can do about it. 

i used to be such a happy girl

with a smile brighter than the sun.

whatever happened

to that girl?

i hate looking at myself.

i hate what i see in the mirror.

i hate who i am.

i hate being me.

so instead of letting my tears fall

and giving the mirror

a front-row seat

to my misery,

i’ll just let the shards fall to my feet

and blood trail down my fists.