Thoughts I Have While Running: Winter Edition
Note: I already did a post 'Thoughts I Have While Running', (link if you'd like to read it: https://theprose.com/post/361349/thoughts-i-have-while-running) this is just a part two because people liked the first one and it was fun to write!
1. *tying my shoes inside* This is going to be a great run! Such a nice afternoon.
2. *actually walks outside* why. is. it. so. f*cking. cold.
3. My hands are already numb. How are my hands already numb. *puts my hair in a ponytail* gosh, I should have done this inside.
4. *starts running* Oh wow, I have a cramp already. Fun, fun, fun.
5. Why are there people ALREADY? Can't I run in peace?
6. *realizes the people aren't crossing the street* Oh, you're going to make me cross the street, huh? So that's how it is? Guess I just won't say hi to you. Rude.
7. Hmm. My quintuple knotted shoes are *cough* coming untied. Funny how that works. Guess I'd better stop for two minutes to untie *ahem* retie them.
8. *resumes running* My knees hurt? Why do they hurt when I stop?
9. *switches the hand that has my phone to give my freezing fingers a break* wHy aRe mY fiNgErS nUmB AgAiN?
10. *sees more people* *what I think* why are they walking on opposite sides of the street taking up the whole street when they could walk single file on one side so I can get through without saying excuse me twenty times because nobody hears me when I talk? *what I say* “cute dog!”
11. *watch buzzes* ew, is that seriously my mile split? We’re just going to blame that on the ice. It’s a valid excuse...right?
12. Okay, I must be almost done. *checks watch* not even half. way. there? I’d better stop to *cough* stretch.
13. More people? MORE PEOPLE?! This was a deserted neighborhood, a deserted street, till I went for a run. What’s up with that?
14. *almost falls* f*ck. That’s what we call ice, folks. Good thing I caught myself. *actually falls* I TAKE IT BACK. I TAKE IT BACK OKAY.
15. Owwww my knee hurts for two reasons now. Why am I so cLuMsY??
16. Ooh, I have reached the sacred *uhh* stop sign. With dog...excrement...and muddy snow all over it. So special. Maybe I need to rethink my turnaround point. Anyway, music time!
17. *keeps running but tries to turn Pandora on at the same time* that’s ice F*CK that’s ice yay I dodged it nope there’s another patch WHERE IS MY SONG wait most people listen to Spotify why do I have Pandora OW my kNeE more ice oh ok FOUND MY SONG.
18. *speeds up, music adrenaline* *slows down two seconds later, wheezing* yeah, we need to stop doing that.
19. Wow, I talk to myself when I run. The cold is getting to my head. And my fingers.
20. *starts coming up with dumb poetry? (not sure it deserves that title) in my head because why not right?* ohmygosh that is a gorgeous rhyme I just came up with! Even though it’s not a rhyme. Fingers? Never had ’em. Toes? What are those? Cold? I F*CKING HATE IT.
22. OH MY GOD I ONLY HAVE FOUR MINUTES LEFT
23. Why is it icy now? This is where my finishing kick is supposed to be instead I’m slipping and sliding and going really. really. slow.
24. Ohmygosh ohmygosh I’M HOMEEEEEEE
25. *struggles to untie shoes* yeah, my fingers are dead. At least I still have my toes. Maybe I can be like that girl on YouTube who was born without arms and learned to do everything with her feet.
...yeah, I don’t think that would work.
26. *walks inside* Time to watch Netflix and eat cookies. I mean, who stretches after they run? Certainly not me…….
Edit: I'm really b*tchy when I run, at least in my head, I don't actually hate people this much I just say rude things in my head to focus on something besides the pain...