Rise Up

It is only in looking back upon my behavior as a teenager that I can acknowledge I was addicted to love. I was stuck in a pattern of intense infatuation, insecurity, and obsessive behavior. My immature mind believed that this other would fill my cup. So glad to be done with that!

As a young mother I became addicted to Vienna Fingers, no joke; the vanilla cookies with the vanilla cream inside. I would always use the excuse I was buying them for my kids but I'd eat them all before they got any. Don't worry. They weren't deprived. They liked and received Chewy Chips Ahoy.

In my fifties, I started a dangerous love affair with wine. Scared the crap out of me because my mother was an alcoholic. I had all these rules; only drink on the weekend; only two glasses max, that I was constantly bending and then I gave it up when I asked myself, "What the hell are you doing?" I do like beer, but I am able to stick to my rules. Only one, and not every day. My favorite beer at the present moment is Evolution, Rise Up Coffee Stout. It is addictive, but I keep it under control.

I would prefer to say writing and reading are passions and not addictions. I know I have an addictive personality and at one point I found myself turning these closely guarded passions into an addiction. I know the signs, perhaps you do too. When we allow what we do to become an obsession instead of a pleasure it's time to take a break. But I can unequivocally state today, writing (and reading) is the number one thing that makes me feel good when I feel bad, besides time with my grandchildren and my dog Booker.