Purifying Fire

She slipped me the desire for sugar-sweet

chocolatey something

substantial to eat

She guided my dreams to cookies and cakes,

the things I can always

truly enjoy

even as I drown in the guilt of eating too

much and the sugar vibrates

in my ribs

She slipped me the desire for stepping away

into a bright, blank world of light

pretending to fulfill me

She guided my dreams to virtual

worlds and virtual words

that stuff stuff stuff my head

with cotton death of new ideas

and boredom

She knows sometimes I’ll slip and

forget to do more, but I guess

I need this first step before

the more can come

How do you release the grey without

feeling it?

She knows I can’t, so

she makes me want something

nameless

and also ice cream

and sometimes I don’t take it

She slipped me the desire for hot, salty

tears that run down cheeks in cold lines

and gasp up from my throat

like purifying fire

She guided my dreams to accepting

my pain in determination of

doing better tomorrow