Shallow Emotions

I dont understand myself. I am helping to everyone other than myself. I feel empty, not a lonely empty, just very very hollow. I feel as though time is drifting by just to displease me. I finally figured it out, it not her thats making me feel this way, its my life. This is how I normally felt. She just made me feel good because she was something I could have, something I can love. Ah, well passing times will not be brought up again. Maybe I was meant for nothing more than what I always dream of, maybe this is as exciting as life gets. A fraction of me still hopes there is magic, and monsters, or something to make life interesting. Maybe ill never know. You know it takes a lot of effort not to be angry at him, it's not his fault she is attractive and pretty. Maybe he will go through what I've gone through with her. Maybe. Well, this concludes tonight. Good night to myself.