draft 3 - a bittersweet memory

1.5.19

Like a scene out of a movie.

The rain drizzled across our faces as we stood on the pier, laughing about things that we would forget the next day but still enjoying the feeling of being together anyway. You stared at me until I squirmed, calling me beautiful until I stopped rolling my eyes. No one had ever looked at me like that before - and it was hard for me to take your words seriously.

The conversation turned to giggles and arguments about our shared history, you confessing how long you had wanted me and how many times you should’ve given up but just couldn’t bear to. Hearing you say those things made me feel so...different. Like as if I was beginning to see myself in a way I had never seen myself before.

I argued that I had never rebuffed you, but the evidence you responded with proved otherwise - and once I understood this, the realization came that I had known that I resisted. In fact, I realized I was testing you. Did you really mean what you said? Were your feelings for me an actual reality? By the way you looked at me, the answer was obviously yes.

The wind and the rain picked up. The moon got dimmer as the clouds got denser. We ran to the gazebo, glittering lights illuminating the droplets still lingering on your face as we tried to take shelter.

I sat on the picnic table, you stood in front of me.

I asked you if the waiting, the fighting, the failure - was it all worth it?

What a stupid question, you said. Of course it was.

Then you kissed me.

Be my girlfriend?

The rain poured, my heart stilled. I felt so calm.

Yes, I said.

You kissed me again, but I could taste the smile lingering on your mouth.