Right Person

I met the right person at the wrong time, but lucky for me, I got a second chance.

I was fifteen when I met my husband. A mutual friend brought him to youth group at my church. I thought he was a nice guy. Big, quiet, a little shy. He was definitely a geek (video games and computers), but I was a geek, too, though not quite the same kind (straight A's and marching band for me).

But at that age, I don't think I would have ever considered dating, and almost definitely not this particular boy. I was an awkward high school kid, and I believed that no guy would ever be interested in me. Through youth group and band, I hung out with a lot of boys, but it never crossed my mind that any of them could be interested in me. I just wasn't that kind of girl. I didn't wear make-up or cute clothes, and I was much more likely to challenge one of them to an arm-wrestling match than to giggle and flirt with them.

And yet, for some reason, the boys I tended to have crushes on were the ones that I considered to be way out of my league - the good-looking, smart, talented ones (and there weren't that many of those in high school). So, as much as I enjoyed my time with that big, shy nerdy friend from youth group, it never occurred to me that we could be anything more than friends.

And so, we moved on. We went to college and lost touch with each other. I met a cute guy in college who actually showed genuine interest in me. I was so flattered, so caught up in the notion that someone not only liked me, but wasn't afraid to tell me, that I ignored every red flag that popped up, and there were many. After getting my heart broken too many times by the only boyfriend I had ever had, I was ready to give up on love.

And I did for almost a year - ignored any thought of dating, refused to see any guy I met as a potential boyfriend. Until a gathering of mutual friends brought me and my nerdy friend back together again. After a few awkward encounters, we started to chat in earnest, and I began to see him in a very different light than I had before. He was still big, and quiet, and nerdy. That hadn't changed. What had changed was my perspective. I saw how sweet he was. How compassionate and kind. I realized how much fun we had together. And possibly best of all, I learned how honest and open he was. There was no hiding his true self or his feelings from me. Once he got to know me, he showed me exactly who he was, faults and all, and so I did the same.

It took a few months and some prodding from friends, but we finally realized how we felt about each other and started dating. Long story short, we've been together for eleven years and married for eight.

I know for a fact that I never would have recognized that boy as the "right person" if I hadn't first had the experience of dating the completely wrong person first. My husband had a similar experience. Just like me, he had dated one other person between the time we were in high school and when we encountered each other again years later, and like mine, his experience had been a sour one. We both are convinced that our negative experiences led us to each other and helped us to recognize our "right person," and we never would have seen it back in high school.

So yes, I did meet the right person at the wrong time, but that's okay, because years later, I met him again at the right time, and my life is so much better for it.