You.

I should've met you years ago. We were in the same class, or would've been if I hadn't dropped it. There were only 25 people there and we were put in groups all the time. We could've commiserated over the fact that the prereqs changed without changing the content of the class. I know neither of us were really prepared for that.

I got a 40 on the first exam, but it was physics, so that was apparently normal. Either way, that freaked me out and I just decided to focus on other things. So I didn't meet you then.

A few years later, we were in the same computer science course. I took it on a whim, but at least that one was one of those 250-student monstrosities. I understood not meeting you then.

More confusing was the first time I actually met you. We were both officers in a very small academic "fraternity". You got so drunk right before the meeting that I had a hard time not laughing when you tried to act like you weren't. We barely spoke for the rest of year.

It wasn't until we were tutoring German together the year after that I got to know you. You weren't at all like what I thought. Maybe because you were so quiet before, but I never knew how deep still waters ran. It didn't hurt that I was usually buzzed and totally willing to tell you all my deep, dark secrets.

I had a crush- a huge one that took up all my time and energy. I thought it was the same for you. Sometimes when we talked I felt like you were the only other person in the universe and definitely the only one who would understand.

I wasn't subtle. I didn't think so anyway, but you let it go on too long. I was too far gone when you finally told me you had a girlfriend.

I couldn't believe after all those late nights, and so much beer, you'd never mentioned it before. I hated myself for thinking that I ever had a chance with you. I hated you for never admitting that I didn't. I found out later that you met her while studying abroad two years before. That was two years after we should've met.

I still think about you. You were really the only person who's ever made me feel anything at all. I message you occassionally: happy birthdays or big events. I'm waiting on the wedding invitation. I guess we just had bad timing.