There was no tunnel. No white lights. No dead relatives waiting for her, amidst a beautiful utopia reeking of love and warmth. She was cold, and kind of hungry.
Do dead people really get hungry? Laney thought, sitting inside of her own head. Nothing to keep her company but the pitch black.
Laney sat in the darkness of her mind, replaying the events of the last six months of her life. The last six months that ended with her six feet under. She wanted to reach out. Stop herself from making the mistakes over and over again.
Is this hell? I wasn’t the greatest person in the world but I didn’t think I deserved hell.
Her memory self falls to the floor in a puddle of blood.
They always met in that motel. The Stardust Motel. Room 218. It’s one of those motels where you don’t need a credit card. Cash up front, rooms by the hour. Boasting of an outdoor pool that no one could use, because it was always coated in a thick layer of green slime. The scent of mildew, and bad decisions drifting casually in the air. The dust fell from the post sixties mod style curtains, floating in the air like the seeds blown from a dandelion.
She remembered the gun shot. The thunderous force of its cargo ripping through her chest like Velcro. Her body hitting the musty floor of the motel room. The final bad decision in a never-ending stream of bad decisions.
She moved out of her parents house at fifteen, and in with her abusive boyfriend. Cocaine is a hell of a drug, and her parents enjoyed plenty. She ran through a train of abusive men and developed a thirst for amounts of alcohol typically reserved for two.
It wasn’t like I wanted to be an alcoholic. It’s not like college was an option, and my parents didn’t set the worlds best example.
She had been working part time in The Outpost, a dive bar in the rundown side of town. You know the one. Every town has one. The one that people avoid, and yet it still stands. The one that reeks of alcohol, and the cigarette smoke of the past.
But it was home. She sold her soul to the company store. Drowning herself in her tips.
Why did I decide to meet up with him? That’s right I needed money.
Laney had only met up with that man for a quickie and some cash. She wasn’t the town bicycle, but he was lonely, and she wasn’t seeing anyone so, no harm no foul.
How was I supposed to know that he was a psychopath?
She met Simon six months ago, when she had turned twenty. His face was sad and lonely, but his brooding eyes had a glimmer of charm hiding in them. He sat in the corner of The Outpost, where she remained after her shift to finish off a bottle of Jack Daniels and celebrate the poor excuse of her birthday. The cigarette smoke clung to the air, like a child holding onto their mother. The faint sound of pool balls, drowned out by Journey, playing on the juke box.
As they sat talking, she pulled her hair into a high, loose bun with shorter pieces of hair falling around her face. One drink led to another, which led to a bathroom stall. He wasn’t looking for a relationship, which was fine with her. The past six months had been nothing more than a quickie here and there, and him asking if he was the only one, and giving her money to get by. To which she always replied with of course.
They never bothered to talk to each other about anything deep. No philosophical late-night discussions.
How did that night go?
Simon texted her that morning. He wanted to meet up like usual. Laney got in the shower, letting hot steam open her pores, the alcohol she consumed the night before running out of her body. She fixed her face, using the makeup that Simon had bought her to cover up her breakouts, and hiding her racoon eyes.
Laney got dressed, put on her yellow sundress, showing off her tan shoulders, and headed out the door of her apartment. Getting into her beat up Jetta, she drove the twelve blocks north, towards The Stardust Motel.
Pulling into the parking lot, she did her best to avoid the needles some of the other patrons politely left behind in their endless chase of the dragon. She got out of the car, and quickly went up to the door of room 218.
“Hey” Simon greeted her; eyes averted like they were doing something bad.
“What’s good?” she smiled quickly kissing him on the cheek, kicking her heels off in the corner of the room.
He didn’t look right. He was always reserved, but he had worry in his eyes, instead of the charm that normally nestled in them. His face pale, his hair greasy and unkempt. When they met up, her clothes were almost off by the time they got into the motel room. Instead he stared at her, like he was looking through her. His behavior should have been the first red flag, but Laney chalked it up to a lack of sleep, he was always so busy doing... well Laney didn’t really know what he did for work.
“Is everything okay?” She stammered, starting to unzip her dress.
“Don’t!” He commanded. A fierceness in his eyes she had never seen before.
Laney froze, zipping back up the side of her dress. She had walked to her shoes, so she could put them on as well. “I’m just gonna go. I thought we were gonna meet up like normal but if you’re not feeling it, I’m gonna pick up a shift.”
“Sit the fuck down!” he yelled, his voice shaking. “Who else have you been meeting here? “His voice the thunder to the lightning flashing in his eyes.
“No one!” she shouted. Even though they were just fuck buddies, she wasn’t looking for love in any place. Simon was the only one she has had any sort of relations with, carnal or otherwise. Her blood was boiling.
“Don’t fucking lie to me!” he snapped, pacing across the small room. From the bathroom at the far end to the door. “The guy at the front desk said he saw you with three other people!”
The boiling blood, finally reaching the tip of her tongue, “We aren’t even together Simon! I haven’t been here since last time we were together!” She caught her breath, “And even if I was, it’s none of your goddamn business!”
She felt the sting of his hand right across her mouth. Hot tears rolled down her face, “Fuck you!” She screamed pushing by him to get to the front door.
He grabbed her by the hair, dropping her to the floor with a thud. Bells ringing in her ears. “We aren’t together!” She insisted, “Simon we aren’t together!”
“I thought this was more.” His eye’s dancing around the room, “I thought I meant more to you Laney.”
She let out gut wrenching sobs, “Simon we barely say more than three words to each other every time we meet! How could you possibly think we were more than this?”
He cocked his foot back and released. Digging the toe of his boot into the left side of her rib cage. She could hear the crack, just like the wishbone at Thanksgiving.
She began pulling herself up onto the bed, when she heard the hammer of the pistol click behind her.
“Simon. I-”
BANG!
The bullet shredding through her like a piece of paper, leaving her to float on a pool of her own blood.
Darkness.
Snapping back into her now reality, she remained in the darkness. When do I get my fucking tunnel? When do I get whisked off to the angels? This sucks. She sat in the darkness, waiting for the bright lights to sweep her off to heaven. Or hell. She didn’t care which, but the damn darkness was beginning to feel unnerving.
Title: Purgatory (working title)
Genre: Fiction
Age Range: Adult
Word Count: 1,362
Author Name: Ashley Casaus
Why it's a good fit: This is the start of the first chapter of the book that I'm working on. I think that it is going to have a lot of potential, and is something I am really excited about once it gets flushed out a little more.
The Hook: A story about a girl who dies violently, and is left to traverse the galaxy.
Synopsis: This first chapter follows Laney, and how she meets her demise. However, the rest of the book is going to follow her on a journey around the galaxy, in her attempt to finally find eternal happiness.
I am a 29 year old woman. I have loved writing from a very young age but typically focus on poetry. I have a few different mental illnesses and writing has always been an outlet for me. I was initially a nursing major, but after a mental breakdown, I decided that nursing wasn't for me, and that I wanted to go back to something I loved: English. I am currently an undergraduate and Colorado State University - Pueblo, working towards my English degree with my secondary teaching license. I play a lot of videogames and love cosplays and comic cons. I work full time, mom full time, and go to school full time. I have had multiple pieces published in our campus literary magazine, and am really excited about trying something new instead of poetry!