Certain Ways
I love her with all my heart
Most times I dont know
If she really knows that I do
Its hard to figure
You would think I would know
By now....
She has those "certain ways"
She shows she loves me,
Just in Certain ways.
A look, with that half smile, let's me know she is thinking about me. But then
She tells me.....
"you don't love me anymore"
The tongue has power to bring into being
Pretty much anything you say.
So why speak those words?
Is she hoping that it is true?
For me NOT to love her...... to me thats....
Inconceivable.
I know and am understanding more
About her brokenness.
I accept her, as is.
Fully accept her as she is, not to try to change her..... just to watch her heal, and then grow.
Said before
"Greek goddesses bow in reverance to her beauty Because they are the ones who are judged by it"
Her mind is even sharper than a razor,
And I love that..
Her tongue spits venom I think unknowingly..
Or maybe she does know... thats another part of why I love her.
Because of her Certain ways,
When we talk its mostly about the past,
(Good times for sure)
Ive been trying to move conversations
To the future, slowly,
Commitment sometimes is hard for us broken
In those Certain ways, the ways only we know.
I am also broken,
Once a fearless battle hardend warrior......
29 confirmed KIAs, Bronze Star for Valor
Various medals, and awards for keeping my guys, (and as some see it) the USA safe
Would Run thru gunfire to save my brothers,
Now a shell of a man
A far cry from a "man"
I see myself as a guy who
Lives in the past...... ALOT.
Because the present is just overwhelming
Sometimes.
I have "Certain Ways" also.
I know im not the easiest to live with.
I'm anal retentive, order and structure
Rule my deep inner mind to the point of
Over focusing, and then overthinking
To the point of then trying to control.
Its one of my biggest issues.
And I try everyday to let go of that issue.
Just as she Is broken....
I am also broken.
But we do get along very well,
Every couple is going to have disagreements
But when we do,
Because we have been hurt in "certain ways"
Its ALL or NOTHING, at least in my fucked up brain. And trust me its fucked up.
But I am working on it.
As I see she also is working on her.
I wish I could rewind time,
And follow her back thru her life,
And protect her from the damage....
But she wouldn't be the woman I so dearly
Love right now, the butterfly effect in reverse.
But I still wish I could go back and at least shield
Her somewhat, so the damage isn't so bad.
But wishes are good for birthday candles and shooting stars.
But I digress......
I do love her, and would kill and die for her.
I want to live the rest of my days here on this planet with her, that is "IF" she will have me....