The Lonely Angel

Everyone wants to feel wanted. There's always that longing to feel excepted and to know that someone out there cares for you. We always want there to be someone to listen to us, someone that we can go to in our time of need. But sometimes we have to be the ones who listen instead, the ones who are there to dry the tears. But what if that's all you did? What if you always listened, but no one heard? What if you always dried the tears, but no one saw you cry?

There once was an angel like this. One who never was heard, but always listened. One who always loved, but never felt that love back.

Even though I say she was an angel, she really was just a girl. A lonely, lost girl with flaws like the rest of us, but still tried to be a gift from God.

She had been hurt many times before, but never really spoke of it. She would instead try to turn her pain into others' happiness. All she ever really wanted to do was to be happy and to make others happy.

As the years went by, she still tried to do this by making friends and resolving conflicts. She wanted to be the person her friends turned to in their time of need. And they did turn to her for advice, but at the time, she didn't know that this would come at a cost.

Her friends started to fade away, not really ever being there for her. Her tears at night turned from a wail into a silent patter on her pillow. She no longer tried to call attention to herself and no one paid her any attention as well.

She became a figure in the background, only viewed by few. Some would stop and ask if she was alright, and of course she'd put on her mask and say "yes, I'm ok," every word a lie. She never wanted to bother others with her troubles.

The only other time she was seen was when others needed her. They would come crying to her, and she would still listen. She never said a word of the hurt she felt inside.

But one day, she just couldn't take it anymore. She needed someone to listen to her for once!

So when someone had come to her, once again with the same issue, she just let it go.

She told them that she was done hearing about this issue, that it was ridiculous! She said that every time she ever tried to bring up herself, that the other person would turn the subject back to them.

She had let it all out, hoping that they would finally understand! That after years and years of them taking from her, that she needed them to give.

But, of course, nothing was that simple. Everyone was outraged by this, saying what a horrible person she was for doing this and saying such things.

Of course, she immediately apologized for everything she had said, not wanting to ever hurt anyone. So she let it go, she just buried her pain deeper and deeper...

Eventually she started to fade away, little by little. And the worst part to her was that no one even noticed or cared. By the time that she was wanted by someone again, it was to late, she was gone.

Some people were sad at first, but eventually no one cared. Not even her memory lived on with them.

So the sad, lonely angel flew away leaving only her attempts to make people happy behind. She realized to late that she was so busy trying to make everyone else happy, that she never tried to make herself happy.

If you were to ask one of the people she brought happiness to what they remembered of her, they might not say much. They might mention how crazy she was or how loud she was. They might even call her annoying. Sometimes, they would even say this to her, not knowing that this is what hurt the most.

When you asked these people if they ever asked her if she was ok, or if they ever listened to her problems instead of coming to her with theirs, no one could say yes.

So the smile that tried to be the sun on others' dark and cloudy days was slowly forgotten. The last thing to fade wasn't her smile, though. It was the tears that were on her pillow from those lonely and cold nights.