The Dark Forest

I’m surrounded by nothing but trees. Trees that seem to be looking at me. Trees that look as if they are mocking me. I swear I have passed by the same tree multiple times. In a forest, one would think there would be sound. One thinks birds, deer, but here, there is nothing. This silence is going to my head. In this silence, I hear a voice telling me, begging me “turn left. Go straight. Help me.” I hear my name. I hear laughter. But with all of this, I hear nothing. “It is all in my head,” I try to say. “This isn’t real. This isn’t real. Please, God, tell me this isn’t real,” I whisper to myself, fearing that the trees might be listening. I wander around these woods for what feels like hours, but probably has only been minutes. I can’t see the sun, yet there is light. Not a lot of light, but just enough to where I can see that there is a never ending mess of trees surrounding me. I feel caged in.

As I’m walking, I hear and see a child running. I yell to the child “help me, please, I beg of you. Where am I? Please, stop running from me,” but the child kept running. The little girl’s voice is so sweet and innocent. It almost sounds like she is singing, but I'm not close enough to hear the words. I walk here, in these dark woods, hearing the voice of this child, and I’m terrified. I can hear it getting louder. I hear the words of this child’s song and start to sing along. “The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky. And also on the faces of people passing by,” the girl would sing. I’m getting closer to her. As I turn the corner around the tree, I see her. The girl, is me. That’s impossible! I’m here! I turn around to look at her again, and she is gone. I scream as loud as I can, “help me! Please! Anyone! I want to go home!” but no one can hear me. The girl appears. She is to my left now. I kneel down and ask her “can you help me? I don't know why I am here. I, I can’t remember,” but she said nothing. Instead, she points to my right and runs left. As I walk to the right, where she pointed, I feel an immense sense of pain from both within my mind and on my physical body. A mix of emotions between fear, anger, happiness and sadness. Confusion, with a hint of relief. As I look around and see nothing but trees, I curl up into a ball and wait for the woods to consume me.

“Help us! Andy, please!” they are screaming. I want to help. I search everywhere, but I find no one because there is no one! It is all in my head. All of this is in my head! Why? Why me? I never wanted this. I never wanted any of this. I search the woods for what feels like years, but has only probably been minutes! The voices get louder. “I can’t help you! Get out of my head!” I shout and cry as if I was going to get an answer. I need to rest, but I’m scared that if I fall asleep, I won’t wake back up. As I stumble along the woods, I start to think that maybe this is all just a dream. If I sleep here, maybe I will wake up back at home. I finally fell asleep, but didn't go anywhere. I dreamt that I’m in the same woods. The same trees. The same voices. The same silence. I followed the directions the voices gave me. “Go left. Stop! Right. Straight. Look at me!” they would yell. I found them! The voices. I came across people. Live people. Speaking people. Real people. I took a step closer, and they scream. They scream at themselves. They scream at each other. They scream at God. They scream at me. “You did this,” one yelled at me. I watched with excitement as they magically turned into trees! Their faces looked like the ones I saw when I first wandered my way into these woods. I wake up to find that my dream, was no longer a dream. The voices are all around me.

I stand up, looking at all the different voices. They all have a unique pitch and tone to them. They aren’t screaming though. I hear them crying. I hear them calling my name. “Andy,” they would say “come closer, Andy.” I would try to find them, but they are gone. I close my eyes and think, and I see them! I opened my eyes expecting to see one of the voices, but it’s just a tree. I walk closer to the tree and see little me. “Hello little me. How might you be?” I ask, laughing at how my question rhymed. “You can’t leave. They won’t let you. We need you,” she replied. A cold shiver runs down my back as I am reminded that I am lost. I can’t take it! These woods have a way of getting to me.

I grab the little girl by her shirt and shake her. I yell “why are you doing this to me! What did I do to deserve this!” She looks me dead in the eyes and starts to laugh demonically. I shake her harder and throw her to the ground. She doesn’t budge. She is still laughing. The voices start to laugh too. “You can’t leave. No one can leave,” they say scattered. I run and look back to see the little girl slowly waving goodbye while still demonically laughing. I run until I physically can’t run. Eventually, I collapsed, but I can hear the voices. I hear a branch crack and look in that direction. I see children running. I counted by how many colors I saw. First three, then four, and then five. They are all laughing like the other. Too weak to get up, I crawl into a bush and hide. They are each saying something, but I don’t understand because they are all saying speaking at the same timet. All I know is that it is getting louder, and louder. Closer and closer to where I am hiding. I can’t take this anymore! I gather enough strength and crawl out from the bush. I look around and there are no children. They are gone. The only thing in front of me is a noose hanging from a tree made out of a bunch of colorful children’s scarfs. One of which belonged to little me.

I walk towards it. There is no wind. The trees are silent but watching. As I grab the scarf that belonged to little me, I see her. She is crying and mumbling to herself. I take a knee and just listen to her. “You did this to me. Why couldn’t you just be happy? Why couldn’t you just smile a bit longer? Why did you let the voices in?” she is saying. Not knowing what to do, I slowly crawl towards her. I tell her “Everything is going to be okay. We can do this. We will get out.” She looks up at me with tears in her eyes and said “Why do you lie to me? You have said those same words how many times? There is only one way out,” she points to the noose of scarfs, “it’s the only way out.” She takes my hand and walks me closer to the noose. I stand on the root of the tree as she helps me tighten it around my neck. I hear her crying. She whispers to herself what sounds like words of reassurance, but I can't quite make out what she is saying. All I know for sure is that she is afraid. Her hands are shaking. She is scared. “It’s all going to be ok. I am going to make this all ok. It’ll feel like floating. It’ll be quick. They won’t even know. I want to feel happy. This is happy,” she mumbled as she steps back from the knot. From me. As she is stepping back, I look at her in the eyes and watch as she slowly closes them. We both breathe in slowly, count to three, and then jumped together. We let go.

I wake up. I’m alive, but how? I feel my neck, but nothing is there. I am in a white gown on the floor. All I see is white. I walk around and count four white walls. No windows. Nothing but four white walls caging me in. I start to scream and pound on the walls, “Let me out! Please! I just want to go home!” I hear a loud noise as a door from one of the walls opens. There is a lady in the doorway. She looks shocked to see me. I don’t care. I pushed her to the side and run for the exit. I see light. I run through another door and I am outside. The lady doesn’t chase after me. “Andy, it is okay,” she says. I look out over the cliff and she walks towards me. She stands next to me and says “You always loved to look out at the forest from here.” “Who are you?” I reply. “You will remember soon,” she says smiling. I look down and I see color through the tree branches. The colors look familiar. I start to count. I count first three, then four, then five. The children from the woods. “Why are there children in there?” I ask the lady. “What children? There are no children here,” she says. I look at her, and back behind her right shoulder is little me in the same white gown as I. I tell the lady “Then who is that!” “Andy, there is no one there.” Little me walks towards me slowly and comes to a stop next to the lady. “Welcome home.”