Be a Good Girl

I didn't grow up praying at the foot of my bed. I didn't have daily devotionals waiting for me at the table with breakfast. I did grow up Christian, though. I grew up being told that my duties were to please the men above me. I grew up being told that I had to give every part of me to others in order to be happy with myself. Give, give, give.

"You don't need to pay your bills, God will do it for you."

I was told I could pray all of my troubles away. I was told that if my prayers weren't answered, it's because I wasn't praying hard enough or doing enough for this invisible man to be my hero.

Throughout my adolescence, I went to countless youth groups, missions trips, and outings for the church. Growing up, I endured the most judgement, bullying, and hate from people I met "through God" than people I had met on the "outside world". As I grew and became more exposed to others, I began to form my own beliefs. I saw that good people aren't just Christians. In fact, there are bad people in all walks of life, no matter what goodness claims to be there. I felt betrayed, hurt, and lied to by the people that had told me the only "truths" I had known.

My truth now is not Christianity. Now I know that acceptance comes from all kinds of people. Peace is being able to have differing opinions and beliefs without persecution. I didn't learn to love others and myself through bible classes and tithing. I learned supporting others, being encouraging, understanding, and helpful is love. When I was being raised, everything was based off of judgement and doing your duties. Now, my life is full of love. My relationships and decisions are made out of thoughtfulness. I can love my neighbor, no matter their gender, race, preferences, and opinions. Because true love doesn't come with judgement.