Can’t Quite Come On

It's like that cold sweat

First period PE class

And the shirt sticks to you like cling-on plastic wrap.

And the sun's out but the air is prickly

With shards of ice fragments shredding your skin

And you're running that damn mile

But you only achieve some timed goal

You never got anywhere from it

Like being in the right place at the wrong time

Can't quite ever run away

COME ON.

Stop it.

Stop trying to stop it.

I'm right here.

And that wise guy

He cracked some words off that fucked smirk

He said suck it up

Get with it

Before you miss this opportunity

But I've been here

Giving you every fucking chance

And you swing at me, not with me.

Those quaker leaves keep fluttering down my neck

And it aches

The whole damn body aches

Like some contortionist with Rheumatoid arthritis

COMEON

If it never matters

And you're just wasting away

Then do something for us both

It's so much more than a quick end

And I'm sick

But I couldn't throw up enough

Expulsion of that rot that keeps curdling inside.

The dry heaves

The runny nose and tear ducts gaping

The brain and heart stabbing and raping

Each other.

COMEON. COME. ON.

I'm just lying there

The room is still but I am spinning

I have shooting stars in my eyes

And the feathers of my wings

They Fall hard like rocks

But I'm looking to you for an antidote

To cut the nausea

I'm looking at you with the heaviest hope

The impending doom of my slipped footing

Always looking for you

The ogle

COME ON

It's been a while now

That damn itch again

The palm of your hand or the edge of your index and pointer finger.

Can't quite scratch it hard enough

Can't quite cut it deep enough

Can't quite bleed me dry enough

Can't quite be in the wrong place at the right time

Can't quite.

COME ON

And I'm sobbing

The fucking swirls of hot slush in my head just can't quite shut the fuck up.

A spool of noodles slowly sticky right out of my ears.

It's like a useless rage in a snow storm

And I'm just waiting

Like some dumb stump

In a blinding blizzard that only you can see in

COME ON!

I can't quite breathe.

Convulsions force the air down my throat

Clenched fist on one hand

Squirming fingers the other

Like the twitch from no sleep

Because sleep won't come to me

But pills do.

And I grasp my torpid state

You don't have to deal with it

And I don't have to look at you

I just can't quite come on.