Life of Bob

He was a young man in his early 20's who was trying to figure out his life. He had been a somewhat typical high school underachiever who liked to party and have fun, but never showed interest in anything adult-like. College had been uninteresting to him and as a result he washed out early. Having no direction in life, he decided to take a job as a phlebotomist in a hospital to explore his interest in the world of medicine as he thought of himself as a caring soul, a person with compassion, so maybe by providing healthcare to the injured or sick might inspire him into an occupation.

From the start he knew the phlebotomist gig wasn't working. First, he had to wake up at 4:30AM it get to work which didn't fit his social life. Secondly, he wasn't good at sticking needles in peoples arms as we never performed well under pressure. And the pressure of having those he was sticking with a sharp metal instrument, watching and feeling, was too much for him to handle.

On one of his last days as an unsuccessful phlebotomist trainee, he was in a patients room accompanying his trainer who was, as usual, doing all the work. The patient was an older African American woman lying in bed with her white sheet and blanket pulled all the way to her chin and family spread all around the room. As his trainer prepared to draw blood, he, using his bedside mannerism that he was actually to this point feeling quite confident in, asked her, "mam, how are you doing today?"

She replied, "I'm okay but quite sick."

Seeing an opportunity to showcase his skills for his trainer, he asked, "Can I tell you a joke to cheer you up?"

She replied slowly, much like you'd expect a sick older person to reply, "sure."

He started his joke with,"What do you call a cow with no legs?"

She quietly replied, "Oh, I don't know."

His punchline was right on time, "ground beef."

The entire family, his trainer, the sick woman, all chuckled out loud sending waves of pride down his body. As the sound of chuckles quickly subsided, she said, "that is like me, you see, I just had my leg amputated."

Today, Bob Yelley is in his 50's and has a moderately unsuccessful career as an unknown professional humorist.