ballad of a teenage girl (part 1)

I knew a girl once,

who's eyes held hopeful dreams

made from the breath of stars,

but bursting at the seams.

I watched as her eyes became dull,

as people put her down,

and somewhere along the way,

she lost her rightful crown.

she seemed to be on display,

for people to critique,

blood ran from her smile -

still she turned the other cheek.

and when she finally knew,

that she had had enough,

they told her she was crazy

and that she should be more tough.

when she finally fought back,

after being carved and hollowed out,

they wrote her as a monster,

and cold beyond a doubt.

I remember the hurt in her eyes,

because they're the same as mine,

and here I am years later,

still finding it hard to define.

you see, they tell me that I'm crazy

about the boys and charming men,

so okay, fine I'll stop,

we'll see what happens then.

but now, I'm labeled too picky,

and the boys won't want me now,

I tried to fix what was wrong,

but I'm still not right somehow.

they say, wow, you're too intense,

so I became a little less loud,

but now I'm too ordinary,

and fit too well with the crowd.

I spend my time apologizing

for things I never did,

and burying pieces of me,

that I so quickly hid.

So I'm sorry for the things I am,

and all the things I'm not,

and I hope someday in the future,

I'll be all the things I forgot.