Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

The Devils Advocate (DA) and the Astounding Athlete (AA) sit down to enjoy dinner. The baby brother pulls out a Big Mac from a takeout bag.

DA: "tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"--I feel as though eating a McDonald's burger is just like that.

AA: Now…why is that?

DA: Because everyone has at one point. Even if they lament doing so. Just like bad love.

AA: Now…is it fair to compare love to something like a burger? It can't love you back.

DA: But it can! It can be bad and good…just like love.

AA: Really? But…how could love be bad?

DA: Love is a game that is good to its winners and bad to its losers. You see, eating a McDonald's burger is just like bad romance: things turn around and you find yourself being consumed.

AA: …Really? Now...how could somebody be eaten by ground beef?

DA: Not literally--figuratively! Once inside your stomach, it begins to eat you from the inside out…just like bad romance, it eats away at your heart!

AA: In that case…you better stay away from each other.

AA excuses himself from dinner.