Excerpt from a Novel I’m writing

“Here. This is everything. I have 30 gold pieces, 20 casings of blackpowder, bread, apples, and a new compass.” She held the satchel out to him. A smile covered his lips as he grabbed it, but her fingers wouldn’t let go. Here she was again, enabling him to run further from what he wanted most.

His brows furrowed. “Agatha?”

The fabric slipped from her hands and she watched as Rory threw the strap over his shoulder. His concern vanished as soon as the supplies were in his possession.

“We sail tonight. Everything is ready now.” He grinned as he looked into the sky. “The last of our preparations were finalized this morning. Finally, we can set off on our voyage.”

“I’m glad you’re happy. I know you’ve been looking forward to this.” It came out of her lips half-heartedly, but the expression on his face proved he didn’t notice.

Turning towards her again, he cupped her cheek with his hand. “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have been ready so soon.” He planted a kiss on her forehead. It was gentle as it always was, and his warm touch melted her heart. Her breath caught in her throat. How did he always manage to act so genuinely affectionate? Or if it was authentic, then how could he ever abandon her when she needed him? Whatever his agenda, Agatha knew hers.

“As soon as we get our prize, I’ll repay you, Princess.”

“I don’t want gold, Rory,” she said, stepping away from him. “I want improvement.” His eyes were locked on her. He was still and silent. “I love you,” she continued, “and I don’t think that will ever change, but for several months now, I haven’t really liked you. I don’t want you like this.” Leaning on the rails, Agatha focused on the sound of the waves. Pressure was building behind her eyes and she fought against the tears. Water crashed against the shore. Ten months of prayers. Ten months of sacrifice. Ten months of forgiveness. Ten months of the worst pain she had ever experienced. Why couldn’t he see how much he was hurting her? How much he was continuing to hurt her?

“I know there’s a part of you that still wants to be reinstated. There’s a part of you that cares for me.” She closed her eyes, matching her breath to the movement of the sea. “I want to help you, and I will do all I can, but I need you to do your part. I need you to be kind to me. To try. Please, Rory… I don’t want to leave you…”