Dreams of you

Every so often, I dream of you. Sometimes I wake up smiling, sometimes crying. But mostly all of them I end up crying anyway.

I miss how our love used to be. Before the all the mess, the trials, the hurt.

Every so often, I think of you. I wonder what you're doing, what you're thinking, who you're with. Are you outside on your porch? Are you looking out the window? Are you looking at the same moon as I am? Staring into the stars that so resemble your eyes?

Are you driving down the roads we used to drive? Are you smiling? Do you still laugh the same at you do? I miss that- the way your eyes always twinkled when you laughed or smiled.

I hope and pray you are happy. And I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused you too.

I wish that in a different life, perhaps- all would be fixed and well. I wonder what my life would be like with you more often than I'd like to admit. Conscious or unconcious- you are with me always. You still haunt me, even in my dreams. You are permanently sealed in my brain, and will be with me the rest of my life. Both the love and the hurt, the pleasure and the pain- you're there. Forever.

My heart is heavy these days. I think of you often. I hope you're happy- that's all I want. I forgive you and I wish you the best in life. I pray to God that you know you are loved. You will always be loved.