Brought Back by the Pandemic

I lived away from my hometown for approximately 6 years and moved back about a year ago. I left my hometown due to trauma that was preventing my growth and healing from progressing. I moved to a much safer, quieter, and smaller town. It was lovely and an incredible place to live. During those 6 years, I faced many tumultuous times, but also found the healing and growth that was vital for my livelihood. When the pandemic hit, I became worried about my father. Him being elderly had me concerned since he was considered high-risk. My father and I didn't always have the most healthy, stable relationship as I was growing up, but in those 6 years that I was away, we grew closer than ever. Hearing news of people losing loved ones to Covid hit me hard. I became so frightened for my father and felt this pull to get closer to him. After many conversations with my significant other, we decided to make the move to my hometown to be closer to my dad.

It was difficult to leave the wonderful town and home we had to go back to my hometown where the violence and crime rate is one of the highest in the nation. I also didn't realize how hard it would be to move back to where all my trauma began. I assumed that the healing I found from being away would prepare me for being back, but I was wrong. Memories, anxiety, and depression came flooding in and the first few months were extremely difficult. However, I found an incredible therapist who has helped me work through my emotions. I'm finally starting to find my footing out here again. Now, I'm able to be centered and calm enough to enjoy the time I'm having with my father. The mindfulness and gratitude practice that my therapist has taught me has been impactful. I'm still not exactly where I want to be emotionally and mentally, but I feel like I'm heading in the right direction.

Even though my hometown is not perfect or ideal, it has character and charm. There is a lot of diversity here and delicious food, both which make me happy. The weather is more mild, as well, which makes for more time to enjoy the outdoors. My hometown will always have a special place in my heart and I'm happy I made this move to be closer to my dad. Do I want to stay here for the rest of my life? I'm not sure, but I imagine I will move away from here again sometime in my future. When we first moved, I was regretting it tremendously, but I'm happy to say that, now, I feel that I made the right decision. For many people, including myself, the pandemic has made us realize the importance of family and loved ones. As hard as the pandemic has been, I'm glad that it has brought me closer to my dad.