“Willow dreams” a forgotten night journal entry
In my dreams, I went to the willow that is just at the river’s edge, the edge of my memories. And the branches drooped low to kiss the water into ripples of new. The rings grow and I begin to think of the widening circles around my life. The ones where I felt at times, were so small I would suffocate.
Faces come to mind from a time in my life, I’d rather forget. The funny thing is the mind knows what I can take, at least in these moments where I am in control. So these blurred faces with so much to say, cannot give me their expression of disgust and hatred, which would make the words so much more potent.
In my weaker moments, when I feel my water soaked memories pour into my consciousness, I am surrounded by a wall of words- All meant to put to death any love I ever carried for myself.
And in these weaker moments I let the wall fall on me. And I am in the wreckage and no one even thinks to come and find me.
These days, these are the ones that are hard to get through.