The Lighthouse Restroom was Poorly Lit
The general squalor and lack of illumination did not seem to phase the tour guide whatsoever, he unceremoniously handed me a battery powered lantern, a bottle of some industrial antiseptic and a pamphlet, all because I drank too much iced tea on the lighthouse tour and needed to seek some relief.
Curious, as I entered the restroom I sat the lantern on the counter and opened the pamphlet. It was a slick color affair, a tri-fold on plastic coated card stock. "Welcome to the Langormore Lighthouse Restroom" screamed the headline in Comic Sans, and somehow the font was crooked, this must have been some sort of intern with more time than skill. The pamphlet showed photos of the antique fixtures within the restroom and showed photos of the tile being installed. These folks were proud of their restroom. There was little useful information in the pamphlet, however in a tiny font at the bottom there was a warning: "Caution, do not press the blue button above the sink under any circumstances. Just trust me on this one".
Now I wish I could say that this warning was something I would take as more than a joke, that I assumed the blue button was connected to some buzzer to see if tourists really read the brochures, but I did not.
After relegating the Lipton to the ocean, I washed my hands and considered the blue button. Obviously it wasn't anything bad, it's not like this would launch a nuke and take out Cleveland, it was probably some electric fan that runs too hot and smells like burning popcorn.
So I looked around, cleaned my hands with the sanitizer and gave the blue button a solid press. It was a splendid mechanical switch, it clicked like the trigger of a gun. Nothing whatsoever happened.
Or so I thought. I exited the restroom expecting to finish my tour of the structure when I noticed something entirely strange. The tour guide was standing perfectly still. Not just steady on his feet, he wasn't blinking. Or breathing. Outside a child was also standing in one place, like a statue. He held a balloon that seemed locked into position, as if the string had turned into a solid wire.
Surely this was some sort of prank. I started looking around for camera operators there to record this fabulous prank, but there were none. In a panic I ran back into the restroom and slammed my hand onto the blue button. Again it let out a solid click.
As I exited the restroom the tour guide gave me a knowing look. "You pressed it, they all do". He laughed to himself and sent me on my way to continue the tour.