Chapter 14
Terrelle put his hand in his coat pocket for his gloves and brushed his fingers against a piece of paper. His brows knit together in confusion as he pulled it out. "What's this?"
He unfolded it to find a carefully printed note.
You went on a missions trip
to Brazil. Tell me
about it.
CW
"CW?!" CW was a troubled teen. He had been sent to the Juvenile Detention Center, where Terrelle worked, for several things. He hadn't know CW had even heard about his trip to Brazil. Though he realized this was CW challenging him, he was delighted at the unexpected opportunity.
He walked out to his car, shoulders hunched against the cold wind that had picked up. He was overjoyed by this opportunity that had opened up. He had prayed for something like this ever since he had come home from Brazil. He drove out of the parking lot and into the flow of traffic. Even though he had prayed for such an opening, he had never dreamed of getting a note from CW, an angry, rebellious sixteen-year-old with long brown hair. He had been on Terrelle's heart ever since he had seen that young man hauled into the center.
That note was an unexpected, pleasant surprise. CW was a street kid with a rock in his chest instead of a heart. Yet Terrelle had never given up on him! CW was often in his prayers and thoughts.
"How to reach this young man?" Terrelle thought. He knew the direct approach would just push CW farther away. "Lord give me wisdom."
Terrelle stopped in front of of Mandie's house. He was going to take her out to a nice restaurant and a movie for the night. He and Mandie were going to get married once they were done with college. Until then they went out as often as their school and work would allow.
"Hi, Terrelle."
"Hi, you look very nice tonight," he said when Mandie opened the door revealing herself in a blue full-length dress.
"Thanks."
The two talked about school on the way to the restaurant. Yet hard as he tried, Terrelle was failing at concentrating on the conversation. He couldn't help but think of that note. His mind was roiling with ideas of how to answer. The possibilities for CW were endless and that was exciting!
Five minutes later they stopped in front of the restaurant. Terrelle opened the door for Mandie and the two walked in. "I have a reservation for two," Terrelle told the waiter.
"Your name, sir?" The man said grabbing two menus.
"Terrelle Peterson."
The waiter led them to a table in a far corner. He placed their menus on the table and left. "You seem to be distracted. Is something wrong?" Mandie asked Terrelle who held her chair for her.
"Am I that obvious?"
Mandie shrugged her slender shoulders. He looked at her over the candles that burned in the middle of the table. Shadows played over her face and accented her slanted eyes.
Terrelle pulled the slip of paper out of his coat pocket. "I found this in my pocket today as I was leaving."
Mandie read the slip of paper, "Is this the kid you're always talking about?" She handed it back to him. "The one with the long, straggly brown hair?"
"Yes, that's him," Terrelle said his eyes dancing with excitement. "How would you think I should approach him?"
"I don't know," Mandie said looking thoughtful. She didn't act very excited, but Terrelle hadn't expected her to. God had put the passion for CW on his heart not hers. Even so, she possessed a knack for thinking through things, seeing them at angles he had never even known had existed.
"Why not just use the same approach he did? Give him a note."
Terrelle had thought about it but hadn't been real sure about it. "To tell him all about it in a note I might lose his interest before I was half way through, losing maybe my only chance at reaching him."
"Only tell the best story you have. You know like these appetizers." Mandie made a graceful gesture over the list of delectable looking appetizers. "They are just a small taste of what is to come. A starving man eats an appetizer-his hunger won't be quenched but increased. He has had a taste of something divine and knows that the main course will be ten times better. If CW is truly searching for an answer, one story will be an appetizer."
Terrelle got a far-away look in his eyes as he thought about that. It made sense. It was ridiculous that he hadn't thought about that. He had been so excited about telling CW everything that he hadn't seen that option. The problem with a letter was he wouldn't have been able to see if he was boring CW and should stop or not. He knew just the story he would give. He started to slowly nod. "Thanks, Mandie, I'll do that."
After the supper and movie Terrelle took Mandie back to her house. He then headed home with a tired sigh. It had been a good night, but now he was exhausted. He had thought he would be able to write out that story after his date with Mandie, but as it was he was having trouble just staying awake long enough to get home. He rolled down his window thinking maybe the brisk, fall air would help keep him up long enough. It worked well enough. It was a beautiful night. The stars were out in all their glory, the moon a radiant orangish-red color. "Lord, I thank You for CW, and that You have started to work on his heart," Terrelle spoke out loud.
The next morning started out bright and beautiful, with the trees donning their fall splendor. It was a Saturday-Terrelle's day off. He started his day with a piece of toast, an apple, and a glass of milk. Once he had prayed for his meal, he took paper and pencil in hand and went to the task of writing down the story he had chosen for CW. It had been one that had stayed with him ever since that day.
"CW...
When he had finished it and his breakfast, he hopped into his car with the letter in hand. He wanted to get this to CW as soon as possible. It only took a few minutes to get down to the JD Center.
"Terrelle, what are you doing here?" the front desk officer asked, looking up as Terrelle strode in.
"I have something I need you to give CW."
"You mean Mr. I'm-going-to-make-you-pay-for-arresting-me? You mean, of all the places you could be today, you came here to give something to him," the officer asked raising an eyebrow in suspicion. "Read it yourself, Michael. There is nothing subversive in it." Terrelle handed the folded piece of paper over to the older man. Michael was a new Christian that Terrelle had come to respect.
"I'm sorry, Terrelle," Michael gave a tired, frustrated sigh, "I know that. I'll be sure CW gets it."
"Thanks, God bless you," Terrelle said over his shoulder.
"You too," Michael called after him.
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CW stood on the far side of the courtyard where the kids were allowed out on nice days. He had his arms crossed and was glowering at all the guards who were posted around the perimeter. He hated this place and the guts of all the people who had put him here.
He saw the guard who usually was posted at the entrance and who had to clear people before they came in walking toward him. He stiffened, his eyes narrowing. What did the fool want? He was asking for trouble.
"I was told to give you this," Michael mumbled handing a piece of paper to CW. CW glared at him ripping the paper out of his hand.
Michael bit his lip looking ready to take offense. His whole face told CW that he was fighting the urge to beat CW's face in. CW gave him a menacing grin, just daring him to do it.
Michael whirled around on his heel and strode off. CW at first thought about throwing the paper away. "What does anyone care about me anyway?" No one cared. If they did he wouldn't be here.
However, just as he was about to rip it into a million pieces something made him stop. Who would have written him? He knew it would have been screened before given to him so it couldn't be from any of his friends. "Some friends they are!" CW snorted. They had helped and had even planned some of the schemes, but when the police came they had run off, leaving him to fend for himself. He had been bleeding and couldn't stand up and even his best friend had deserted him.
"Who cares," CW thought shoving away the feeling of abandonment, "I don't." CW tried to be tough and berated himself for caring about those dumb guys. They didn't mean anything to....It didn't work. As hard as he tried to put up an indifferent air he felt like curling up in a ball and crying. Angry at himself for being such a cry baby he whirled around and slammed his fist into the cement wall.
"Hey! Cool it kid!" one of the guards hollered.
"Zip it!" he screamed back.
He turned around so his back was to everyone else. Still brooding over being a sissy, he unfolded the paper.
CW,
You sure are giving me a challenge.
CW grinned. So Terrelle had gotten that, had he? Good.
Yet I love a good challenge and so I shall meet your challenge with the best story I have.
There wasn't a smug attitude or a defensive attitude behind that sentence. It was just a simple statement.
The first day we were ministering at Bola de Neve, one of the churches, the speaker asked for everyone to pray about receiving words of knowledge for ministry time. Words of knowledge are where God tells you something about someone. Like something about their past or if they have an illness. I had never gotten a word for anyone during ministry time. I prayed a simple prayer and asked for one. I got a vision so quick I didn't know if it was me or God. The vision was of an older woman with a cancerous tumor in her left breast. I went back and forth between going up and giving the word and not giving the word. I decided that I would rather look foolish and obey than not look foolish and sit in disobedience.
CW snorted at this.
I went up and gave the word, but no one stood up to claim the word. I thought to myself, "Oh well, I obeyed God." That night I was still thinking about it and I prayed another simple prayer, "God, if that was You, I want to meet the woman who had the tumor. The next day at Bola de Neve, after ministry time, a woman came running up to me almost in tears. She found the nearest translator and began telling me the story. She said, "Yesterday, when you gave that word I knew it was for me. All of a sudden the fire of God fell on me and burned out the entire tumor. It is gone!" She said she was going to the doctor soon to prove it, but she knew it had dissolved. I was so happy and overwhelmed with her. I took pictures with her. Later on she bought me a shirt that said in Portuguese, "Approved by the Holy Spirit." That story has stuck with me for this entire time. I carry her picture in my Bible to always remind me of what God can do with someone who is willingly obedient.
Hope that helped.
God bless you!
Terrelle
P.S. I do care. I hope this testimony shows you that God cares too!
That last part hit CW hard. Someone cared about him?! Why would anyone care? No one had ever considered what happened to him! There he went again, getting all emotional. "What's with you CW? You're being such a baby!"
Yet he couldn't shake the feeling. Someone actually went out of their way to tell him one simple sentence. Who would do that? Then there was this issue about God dissolving a tumor. Could He do that? Did He even exist? How could He exist? He had never done anything for CW. When CW had been young, he had thought there might be a god and had cried out for help. He had been answered by cold silence!
"Hah! CW, what are you thinking? This guy's crazy, that's all. No one could be cured of cancer like that," he mumbled to himself. Oh great, now he was talking to himself. He was loonier than Terrelle!
He crumpled up the paper and threw it to the ground in defiance. He resented the fact that a few sentences could rouse such emotions in him! He was being one of those emotional ninnies he and his friends had laughed at. He stalked away from the paper.
The rest of the day he tried everything he could think of to shake the feelings that had been stirred up by Terrelle's letter. He tried harassing the guards, railing on the other kids, and ramming into things. Nothing worked. Those three words kept running through his mind. I do care! I do care! I do care!
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"Michael said you wrote CW a letter. What did you write to him?" Clare, JD Center's cook, asked when Terrelle entered the locker room, where the guards and other workers kept possessions while on duty.
"I told him about my trip to Brazil. Why?"
"He's been acting odd. It's like he has something on his mind that he can't get rid of."
"Really?" Terrelle gave a pleased smile.
He put away his coat and stuff and headed out to start the day. He wanted to go to see CW but decided against it. If CW was impressed by the story he would seek him out. "Thank You, Lord!" Terrelle praised God as he went about his work.
"You!" Terrelle heard CW come up behind him a few minutes later. He turned around to find the teen practically on him. "You really believe all that stuff you wrote?" CW growled.
"Yes." Better judgment told him to let CW say his piece before trying to back up that statement.
"You're crazy!! There's no god who could do that! Even if there is a god who could do that, he doesn't care about people."
Terrelle felt the Lord guiding him to jump on that statement. "CW, God loves you. He never abandoned you. He was just waiting for the perfect moment to reveal Himself."
CW took a startled step back. He looked to the ground as though trying to regain his bearings and control. When he looked back up, he had masked his feelings with rebellion. "He doesn't care about me," CW snapped, though weakly.
"Doesn't He? Did you ever call out to Him?"
CW looked like he wasn't sure if he should admit to that. "Yes, a lot of times, and I never got a response."
"If He had answered you at the time would you have stayed with Him?"
CW didn't answer that question. Terrelle closed his eyes, searching for the right words. "Lord, give me wisdom," he prayed. Still the words seemed to elude him.
He finally just opened his mouth out of faith that God would bring the words if he would just step out. "CW," he put his hand on the boy's shoulder, "I can't tell you why God stayed quiet at the time you called out to Him. Yet it is from personal experience that I can tell you that He is always in control and will turn things around if you will turn to Him wholeheartedly. I could be wrong, but maybe God was waiting until you were really desperate and really wanted Him. Maybe when you were calling out to Him you weren't really wanting Him and just were trying to find an easy way out of your troubles."
A tear welled up in CW's eye. His perpetual glare faltered and then shattered as he totally broke down into tears. This didn't surprise Terrelle. He had been thinking that under that mask of a bully was a little, hurting boy. Terrelle looked around and then with a fatherly arm led CW into one of the rooms where lawyers interviewed the kids. He closed the door and sat down in a chair. CW plopped down in a chair across from Terrelle still crying.
"It can't be true. If God is as caring as you say, then why would He allow so much hurt in this world?" CW was still fighting the thought. It was obvious a loving God was still beyond CW's comprehension, yet he was hoping it was true. Terrelle saw that look of fearful hope in CW's eyes. He desperately wanted love yet was afraid to reach out for it in case it was a mirage.
"Because a couple thousand years ago God created the world and the first man and woman, and gave them a free will. They chose to disobey Him. Because of that abuse, disease, murder, and rejection entered the world. He didn't want it that way, but He gave them the choice."
"Why would He do that?" CW looked up surprised.
"He wanted to have a relationship with His people. Can you force someone to love you?" Terrelle looked CW straight in the eye knowing this would be a fact the kid would know well.
CW looked down at the table in front of him. "No," he whispered.
Terrelle nodded his head. "God wanted to love His people, but He gave us the choice. We chose to disobey Him. We were made to be in communion with God. When we turned from Him we lost a paramount part of us. You have an understanding about cars don't you?"
CW nodded.
"If you pour water onto the wires and into parts of the car that aren't supposed to have water in them, what will happen?"
CW looked at him as though he was being dumb. "It will break down."
"That's right. We doused water on God that moment of the first rebellion. Now we are breaking down. That's not the end of the story, however. God loves us so much that He sent His Son to save us from our sin. We deserve to die! We rejected God. Even so, He sent Jesus to die in our place, to defeat death and illness by rising from the dead! Now we can have eternal life! All we have to do is accept His gift of love and life."
CW wiped at the tears that ran down his cheeks. He looked down at the table thinking through what Terrelle had said. "It can't be that easy. Nobody gives something for nothing," he said gruffly, pushing his chair out from the table and heading for the door.
"CW." In two long strides Terrelle was beside CW. "Try Him. You have nothing to lose." He pulled out a small Bible out of his hip pocket and held it out to CW. CW looked at it unsure of himself. Still he took it silently before walking out the door.
Terrelle had to admit he was a bit disappointed as he watched that receding back. He was so sure that he had seen a hunger in those eyes. He couldn't just stand here brooding about it, though. He went back to work, praying for CW as he went about it. He had obeyed the Lord in speaking up. Now he would just have to lift the situation up to Jesus.
Finally Terrelle's shift was over. He headed out for his car. He hadn't seen CW for the rest of the day, but he had kept him in his prayers. He wasn't about to give up on CW.
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The next day Terrelle had school. The whole day CW was in his thoughts and prayers. On Wednesday he went back to work, but for half the day saw nothing of CW. Where was he? Terrelle usually saw him at least twice a day.
"Terrelle, come here I have something you are going to want to see for yourself," Clare said coming up to him. She led him to the cafeteria and pointed to a table in a far corner where CW sat, his nose stuffed in a little book. Beside him was a plate of food. "Monday about this time I was about ready to close up shop when he came waltzing in asking for his lunch. At first, I was a bit perturbed that he hadn't been in here before with the rest of the kids. Than I got a closer look at the book he's reading now. Terrelle, it was a Bible. He's been reading it ever since you gave it to him. He goes to a part of the center that is kind of secluded and sits there for hours until some of the kids start paying attention to him and then with a gruff word he moves to another spot," Clare explained quietly.
"Cool!" Terrelle exclaimed with a smile.
"Are you going to say anything to him?"
"No, I've said all I can. If he wants to talk to me, he knows he can. Thanks, though. That was good to see." Terrelle went back to work, praying for CW as always.
"Lord, it is now in Your hands, but I would like to know what's going on."
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CW went to bed that night feeling more turbulent than ever before. He had devoured the stories of Jesus, especially the ones about healing, over the past few days. He had felt crazy and foolish for reading a Bible. His dad always said the Bible was for the old and helpless. Yet, he couldn't stop himself. Something in the stories drew him in. He couldn't put the book down. The only reason he stopped at night was the lights were turned off without exception.
He tossed and turned in his bed for over an hour unable to sleep. He felt so lonely, more alone than he ever had. The walls of the center closing in on him ever since he had come. Tonight, the oppression was suffocating. He had tried to hide the depression by acting angry and rebellious. That was failing miserably! He was at the very bottom. There were many times he had thought he couldn't get any lower, but those times were incomparable to this! He was definitely at rock bottom now. He couldn't live this way any longer!
Finally, he rolled out of bed and knelt beside it. "God, I've read stories about Your Son. I don't know if You'll forgive anyone like me, but if You will have me, I will do whatever You ask!" As the words left his mouth, a peace beyond words filled his innermost being. With that peace came a weariness that he couldn't fight. He fell asleep on his knees that night. Even though he slept in a weird position, it was the best sleep he had in years. For as long as he could remember, he had been plagued with nightmares. For the first time in eons, he dreamed of beautiful colors whirling around him. It was an odd dream, but with it, there came feelings of euphoria, which he had never felt before! He had met the God who heals physical, emotional, and spiritual problems. Now he would never be the same!
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The following days passed by him like lightning. There was so much CW wanted to do! The days didn't afford him enough time to do it all! Where as before he had thought the days were cruelly long, now he thought they were way too short. Yet, also in a way, he was glad that they were short. That meant less time until he saw Terrelle again.
Friday night came, and CW was waiting for Terrelle to come in for the night shift. He excitedly bounced around. He itched to see Terrelle and tell him the good news!
"Hey man! I've been waiting for you!" CW pounced when Terrelle arrived.
Terrelle took a step back, shocked at the sudden appearance and the emotion in which he was greeted, but not really surprised by the change in CW. It took him a second to regain himself, but then he smiled at CW. "Wow! It's good to see the change in you!"
"Wednesday night I couldn't take it any more. I asked God to come change my life," CW told Terrelle having to tilt his head back slightly to look Terrelle in the face. His own face was one huge smile.
"Hallelujah! I'm so glad to hear that!" Terrelle gave CW a slap on the back.
The two talked until it was time for CW to go to his cell. Terrelle promised to come back the next day and start a Bible study with him. CW headed for his cell with a light step. The past two days had been the best in his life but talking to Terrelle had made them even better!
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Terrelle was praising the Lord tonight. He was so glad that CW had at last asked God to be ruler of his life! He was so happy. He could hardly wait to tell someone!
Early the next morning as he was driving home into the bright morning sun, he was still excited over CW's news! The beautiful morning matched Terrelle's high spirits and he reveled in it. He bounded out of his car door and up the steps to his door. He rushed in, went straight to the phone and dialed a phone number that he had become familiar with. He knew this person would be up by now.
Ring! Ring! Ri... The phone on the other end was picked up. "Hello, Pastor Rod and Connie Olsen's residence," the female voice on the end said.
"Hey, Connie, I'm sorry to be calling so early, but I just had to talk to someone! There has been this kid at the Juvenile Detention Center where I work that I've really felt burdened to pray for ever since he came a couple months ago. He just accepted Christ!"
Terrelle held the phone away from his ear as the expected squeal of delight came over the receiver. He smiled. That was the response he had been waiting for. "That's wonderful Terrelle! Praise God!" Connie finally said.
The two talked a minute longer before hanging up. Terrelle went about his day with a smile. It was great to see another of his prayers being answered. He never tired of seeing the different ways God answered them!