satiate

when I write, I am drowning

fingers stiff with incompetence

blinking in despair

wishing

to spill the thoughts trapped inside me

to tear myself apart and exhale

to bleed emotion onto a canvas of words

to paint the earth with the crimson ink of my heart

trapped

wanting, wanting, hoping

to freeze the breath on my lips and contain it forever

in paper and in ink

screaming

screaming

screaming

for a way to show it

and writing

writing

writing

imprinting words, loaded like guns

words that hold meaning clenched in their heavy jaws

but they are not quite right

never quite right

and it is not enough

still it is never enough

and the page is a creature of greed

wanting more and more and more

and I hunger too

ravenous for words and devouring the ones

that aren’t quite right

the words are evanescent

droplets of rain

falling fast from the sky

and again I am drowning, drowning

in this thick torrent, aching

clutching at the words

searching for the ones

that are just right.