For you first

PLEASE! You don't have to do this. The only reason your life is crumbling is because you're focused on making other people happy. Please! Stop worrying about if what you do, what you say, or how you complete a 'mission' will satisfy someone else. So what he's your father. If you're going to spend you're life making sure that he's happy and meeting his expectations he should do the same and he's not. The fact that your source of happiness comes from your girlfriend or your little sister will have you forever sad and suicidal. Can you step down? Put the bottle down. You know you're allergic to that. *looks into her eyes* your source of happiness is inside you. You have to make you happy because everyone and everything is temporary! You are the key.