Evolution But I was Still Sad

He was happy when he was with his beloved and his closest friends. He would smile, laugh and often joke around the stupidest of things. People would consider him as someone friendly, but somewhat distant in certain topics and occasions. His smile was not that beautiful and underneath his joking self, he was clouded by dangerous thoughts. He wanted to give up. He really wanted to.

On that day, the sun was shining brighter than usual and his wallet was, unsurprisingly, empty. His money was not that much due to an incident at the road when he was driving his family car. He was sleepy and exhausted. Well, the rest was totally his fault, but strangely enough, he didn't feel guilt. It was strange for everyone, but he wasn't.

On his motorcycle, the sounds of music from his earphones sounded quieter than it should. His eyes were tired and his head felt like it was hit by a sledgehammer. His hands were too tired to hold the throttle and his legs were bruised due to another accident whilst playing badminton.

He sighed and continued his 30-minute journey to the office. An office not too far away and not too close; the perfect distance. Sadly, the traffic was awful and it was honestly torturous. He wasn't in a particularly good mood, but he didn't have any other choice than what he got. If they would just gave him the proper compensation for his work, this feeling of desperation, depression and fatigue would just slightly dissipate. A little while of peace would be great.

The office was empty in the morning and everyone was late, even him. His laptop was sleeping neatly on top of his desk and he forgot to pull the curtains down yesterday. His work for today was still a mystery but his guess was it would be done late at night. It was 11 AM and his usual schedule would let him go home at 6 or 7 PM. Unfortunately for him, that was never the case.

He sighed deeper this time. He put his head on the edge of the table, face looking on to the wooden flooring. He tried his best not to shed a tear or even hit the table with enough force to bruise his fist. He tried his best to endure and be patient. He tried his best to become a better person, but why did it felt like it was all in vain.

This pain of existing and surviving almost disappeared after he met his then-beloved a year ago, but as time went on, this pain just came and hit him just as hard. He wished if there was a God laughing at him at that moment, please do give him a break; a minor success would make him overjoyed, but even that was science fiction.

He hoped that it would be a great day. He really hoped that things would get better as soon as he prayed, but even the act of praying meant nothing if his mind was already on the process of giving up. He thought that his epitaph would be just a laughing crying emoji. He thought it would be funny and hopefully, it won't even come to that.

He wished. He could only wish.

Goodnight. We hope that he would be as happy as the story said.